Living Thru Characters

2010-06-24T15:18:00.000+08:00

Reply to Beyonce’s - Irreplaceable
Lyrics written by J. Nasir

To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
Everything I bought you in the box to the right
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it sugar please don't take
And keep talking that nag, that's fine
But all your walk and talk I don’t have the time

And it's my name that’s on that Brabus
So remove your mess let me hail you a bus
Standing at the bus stop telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a girl like you
You must be twisted

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact she'll be here in a minute - baby

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I already have another you yesterday
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that guy and see if he is home
Oops, you’ve forgotten all that I know
What did you think I was brushing you off for?
Cause you ain’t worthy
Sexing him around in my home while i’m working
Baby dropped them VVS stones, hurry up before your bus leaves
Standing in the bus stop telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a girl like you
You must be twisted

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I can have another you in a minute
matter fact she'll be here in a minute - baby

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I already have another you yesterday
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since you messed up our things
How about you get nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I will warn friends about you
Your cards I’ve cancelled for you
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
To the right
Everything I bought you in the box to the right

To the right
To the right
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact she'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I already have another you yesterday
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact she'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must under estimate me
You must under estimate me
I already have another you yesterday
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

Jo :)

2010-06-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

Brighter Day

Lyrics written by Jo Nasir

warm sun rays shine through dark clouds
cool sea breeze lifts the wings on my body
go away pain, can't you see i'm in peace
all this hurt, it's turning into positivity

everyone goes through adversity
we deal and heal in different ways
a person is defined by their decisions
some make sense, some lose their way

it's gonna be a better tomorrow
it's gonna be a beautiful brighter day
together we will get through sorrow
together these troubles will go away

there will be more troubles & challenges ahead
sure it's easy to just walk away with a high head
confusion whispering to do things we'll regret

my dear angel, please be strong
take my hand, little steps at a time
the past is just a history lesson
the future is in your will & destiny

i believe
it's gonna be a better tomorrow
it's gonna be a beautiful brighter day
together we will get through sorrow
together these troubles will go away

broken glass, shattered mirrors
stormy nights, rocky roads
but the sun will shine, stars will glitter
life always finds a divine mysterious way

just believe
it's gonna be a better tomorrow
it's gonna be a beautiful brighter day
together we will get through sorrow
together these troubles will go away

Jo :)

2010-06-24T14:54:00.002+08:00

Infatuation
Lyrics Written by J. Nasir

Just letting life take its course
Taking time to breathe the breeze
In a world of high expectations
Relationship are like fast food love

Meeting someone meant to be
May just pass us by invisibly
Wasn't looking at falling into you
but i can't deny this instant connectivity

Talking, walking, smittened smiles
Holding hands, exchanging shy glances
Can we hang on to this special moment
Is it love or just an infatuation

Something so innocent
Something so unexpected
My heart is filled with torment of wanting more
Why do i feel so twisted

Waiting for the next chance
Anxiously nervous at the hands of fate
Partially terrified, part excited
How did the stars just fall in place

Talking, walking, smittened smiles
Holding hands, exchanging shy glances
Can we hang on to this special moment
Is it love or just an infatuation

Don't you just wonder
If we could be like those
old couples still hopelessly
like young couples in love

Talking, walking, smittened smiles
Holding hands, exchanging shy glances
Can we hang on to this special moment
Is it love or just an infatuation

Or is it just my imagination
Baby i need to know..

Jo :)

2010-06-23T19:41:00.001+08:00

I don't know what is worse..

Bottling up and restraining all your overwhelming going crazy anxiety attack heart beat racing emotions of infatuation liking someone so super much and you are just dying to let her know it, hoping that she also feels the same so that you can spend the next minute together in mushy lovey dovey mode..

or..

Playing it cool.. playing the "game", the hard to get, nonchalant, cool, suave, hey yeah you're cute and all, but maybe i'll keep you in suspense for a while, confuse the living daylights and play around with your emotion to seduce you into worship like submission.. i think that's just cruel,.. why does the truth have to be disguised as a lie to begin relationships?

And if you did really know how i feel about you now.. would you freak out and run? Would you feel the same or had the heart to give it a chance as i think you would?

If pictures are worth a thousand words, then your various smiles tells of your personality, tells me more about you already despite the limited time we've spent getting to know each other..

I already know we would be great for each other... Would you see that too or would you turn away and long for another?

Sigh.. i can't shake this feeling of love adrenalin going through my chest.

2010-06-18T12:23:00.002+08:00

Day dreaming of you after last night.. Jo :)

2010-06-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

Gulp..
I'm soooo in trouble.. again.. And i should know myself better :s

Ok.. I think i may have found my female twin.. Significant other half.. Whatever you call this life altering interjections.. maybe she's not but but but.. she's doin a darn good job of passing the basic test in freakin flying rainbow colours weii!! I can't tell you what that test is here though.. but basically, she's got a brain (finally!!), totally lovable personality & sense of humor, genetics, can speaks the propers Engrands, sexy as hell in a cute way, she's got ambition, similar taste in music, loves to travel.. The female version of me maybe?

I can't stop thinking about her, i can't get her out of my miiiiind.. it's driving me crazy!.. Yes i know it's that early stage infatuation puppy love smitten kitten thingymajiggy but i haven't felt that for someone in a long long time! My blog hiatus says it all doesn't it?

I I I.. I am so dead.. This girl is going to mess me up so bad and i don't care.. It's gonna mess both of us up if she falls for me too.. It's going to be worth it.. Bring it on!

2010-06-09T19:03:00.001+08:00

Is thankful for all the wonderful friends that make up what my life experience is.. Jo :)

2010-06-08T18:34:00.002+08:00

Life for me could not be at one of the most complicated and challenging states right now..
I dunno if this is depression talking or just plain frustration with everything that i want to go right but isn't. C'mon.. it's the year of the Tiger supposedly. Where's all that promised luck and prosperity??

I'm going through multiple breakdowns, spiraling one by one out of control, scared as hell about what other uncertainties coming ahead, trying my best to contain and fix whatever damages on multiple fronts.. Career, Family, Relationships, Health, Businesses, Self.. Everything is not at peace but strangely, i feel calm.. That is strange. Is it because i already know the future? That i possess the mind to get me through this unscathed?

Maybe this strength is being caused by the influence of another? :)

2009-04-14T12:10:00.006+08:00

I read with interest about the current page rankings battle comparison between Facebook and Friendster with a slight dissatisfaction about the facts quoted here or "Facebook has superceded Friendster in Malaysia ". Trackback: http://tinyurl.com/craj4t.
What most people tend to forget is..

a) Minority of users on Friendster demographic profile is the elitist or the educated urban yuppies. The actual bulk of the users are from all over Malaysia which are your low-middle income young generation across rural areas and outer cities. Hence Malay is their preferred choice, even in Indonesia. The more affluent demographics were smart enough to move over to Facebook a long time ago as early adopters, but we still represent a minority, even in Internet user base over the whole population.

b) Frienster's page structure (or lack of it) is designed to generate multiple impressions to maximise advertisement revenues. Just look at the message page navigation and flow. Count how many impressions it takes to read from message to message if you have more than 11 messages. This in a way generates the page views they claim contributes to their ranking.

c) The assumption based on increased iPhone users is completely irrelevant, delusional and misleading. The number of iPhone users in Malaysia and Singapore is extremely low. iPhone and Blackberry only has a 4% & 11% market share respectively globally. A marketing gimmick than fact. A highly insignificant proportion to Symbian's domination of over 60% worldwide via Nokia, Sony Ericsson and other devices. The upcoming Symbian Series60 version 5 release, as well as Google's Android platform along with new cheap accompanying phones will quash all hype that iPhone brags even with their Apple Cocoa based platform version 3 release soon.

What would have been more accurate to say is the insurgence of Web Enabled phones into the market capable of accessing social networking services in an always-on web runtime environment would lead to a competitive battle for screen space and users for multiple applications.

This battle would be won by Facebook as their user demographics would be able to afford data services over the more sophisticated mobile smart phones. The majority of the population in the Asian region will still depend on the web to access either Facebook or Friendster base on their social friendship demographics. In most cases, they will have and maintain both accounts.

Friendsters attempt to stage a comeback will only work by adopting a more user friendly approach to cater to low bandwidth internet speed users in this region with better page layout and functionality. A more in depth market research in terms of language preference and option to remain in English is a must. They would also benefit via existing collaborations through other Open Social partners and application developers to recapture their glory days.

Jo :)

2007-01-22T21:12:00.000+08:00

Yup yup.. i return to this familiar space called my own. It's been a while indeed. Much has happen, some good, some bad, some current, some interesting and not. Where does one begin after so long. I've had so much to say about 2006 and what's in store for 2007 but then again, i do wonder, who is going to read this anyway?

Maybe it's all for my own record, since there may be an biography written one day and at least this will remain on record.

Let's see.. 2006. It was a crazy year, then again, it always is like that anyway. Love came and love left. Work was constant if not excessive. Finally did the sinus surgery and i can breathe again, so i thought. Long hair to short. Sexiness to Superstardom. Parties and invitations spilt from all corners and my calendar was super full. Yeah, it was fun mixed with a pepper dash of spicy sadness here and there. I'm contemplating and reflecting back and so far, i'm starting to wonder if i'm turning into a depressive maniac or simply bored with what the social and love scene has to offer. Will write more on this later. The travel front brought about many interesting destinations due to work, love and leisure, which i am thankful for and of course looking forward to more this year.

Part of the reason of absence here is attributed to work. Loads of it. Working my day job which consumed the mammoth tasks of clearing a backlog that haunted me until the very end of 2006. All this while battling the sinus and sleep apnea related health problems and balancing a very sticky environment with management about timeliness. Yes, I know i am in the wrong by not following the contractual obligations of reporting in early and leaving the office like other clockwork robots but hey, check the time sheets and you'll find that i was working longer hours than many in the office. Not to mention that our team was in need of additions. Maybe the work wasn't as challenging anymore and i lost my motivation somewhere. I needed a mental intellectual arousal that never came.

What is the point of putting yourself through 45-60 minutes of stressful idiotic Malaysian drivers and traffic jams when the journey is less than 10 minutes at other times? That's 35 minutes of petrol being saved up and not polluting the environment with gas and heat and adding to engine wear. What is the big deal about everyone must be at work at 9am or else! Like the whole business world is going to collapse if you are late, even by a few hours and as if you're not there for the rest of the day to do whatever that needs to be done with me anyways. In this day an age, much thanks to technology, work cultures are changing from the traditional boxed up mentality championed by old militarian style guards to a more liberating and mobile approach. Especially when creativity is needed in challenging the new.

Yes the stress levels were clearly up and that adds to the problems. I wished i could vent out everything here but at the risk of a scandal, i think i better reserve the thoughts to myself. A restraining skill i've begun to acquire and practice of late. I'm still battling a health problem and it wasn't intentional to be tardy. I may still have to go for another round of the surgery. Speaking of which, my dad is also going for a heart related surgery thingy tomorrow. Hope he makes it through.

Few really knew about what i was going through personally, internally, physically, mentally, medically and i don't blame anyone for not asking. I did after all put on my poker face to mask it all. Had to. Everyone has their own set of problems anyways. I can say that i had to be reminded about priorities the hard way. I had to focus on my work despite dealing with a rough blow to the heart simply because, my job and reputation was on the line if i wasn't.

It would have been manageable had we not included the ambitious "Remember Series" events under my private publication initiative. Yes, if a day job wasn't enough, then try juggling a few other outside commitments as well. People expect things and you have a responsibility to commit to delivering. Failure to do so can instantly damage credibility. It was exhaustive but worth the experience as the memories we created for many were priceless. Juice Magazine nominated it as one of The Best Series for 2006 in their recent polls. Sweet. It spawned a whole trend of other bootleg events bringing back the grand sound of yesteryears.

I am dissapointed that the clubbing scene is going through a weird phase as well, so far in 2007. It's almost like a state of confusion and monotony that has everyone in a trance like state to not bother to experience the new and move away from the familiar. Puzzling. More dissapointing is the fact that close friends don't even bother to support once in a while and rather go back to the same weekly thing week in weekend out as if there's no other options.

On matters of the heart, well, it's a long story. I never really said much about it and in a weird way, keeping busy, fasting month prayers and time eventually revealed the questions that i needed answers to and brought me back to heal. Frankly, at current time looking back, as many before me, i was blinded. It's all an illusion filled with manipulative, deceit, betrayal, pretence and insincerity now. I'm not saying out of hurt, but more of what is a lot clearer to me now through investigations and predictability in character observation. I wrote a few songs in that moment of hurt, a long letter questioning and venting out the pain then which never reached the intended recipient. The drowning love songs which i didn't have the time to compile. The restrain and hesitation to run and do what ever it took to win her back. Just like that, it all slipped away and time revealed truth through prayers. I'm actually strangely happy and ok about it. Moved on. There will be others coming along as time also quickly revealed.

Which brings me to a troubling thought that's been harbouring in my sleep and mind the past few weeks and compounded by an article i read in The Sunday Star, the weddings i attended in the last few weeks and talking to my company secretary this afternoon. This has something to do with Men and Women relations of course, and how both sides are now getting more and more demanding of what they want from or expect to have to qualify for and from each other. It's sad really, because the barriers are higher than ever for anything to fruitfully start, the discounting and audit has begun even before the first hello, the time available for discovery is also getting more and more limited due to work and less dependancy. It's turning into fast food love.

Now don't get me wrong, i'm not really talking about my own personal state of affairs but the patterns that i've been observing. Trust me, i am damn good at observing, understanding and setting trends before it happens. That's my job and ability like someone able to explain global warming trends based on key indicative signs. I can say it because weirdly enough, i fall into the statistic and so do others around me. We are getting pickier and more obsessed questioning about, if there even is the actual need for love and consequentially commitments after all. Hmm, much disturbing thoughts i fear on this. Contemplate more on this Joda will. Hehehe. (Sorry, just went through all 6 episodes of Star Wars)

Anyways 2007 is here and a Happy New Year to you all. What's in store? Well i don't really know for sure. There's lots to do definitely. I'm getting that jittery feeling that it's going to be another crazy year. New responsibilities work wise, new partnerships private business wise, new brands to grow, new industries to dive into, new ventures, new hott personal look, new attitude and ambition, new office work wise, new laptop, new challenges, new friends, new relationships, new sound DJ'ing wise and songs produced remixes wise, new destinations, new adventures, yup.. all that lined up already while we're still in January. 2006 was a year that i worked so hard to get through and it sure looks like an interesting year of that again. Bring it on.

I'll be back here.

P.s: For those waiting and craving to eat my Nasi Minyak, let me know in advance and i'll cook it for you. Marriage offers welcomed but as mentioned, i fall into the statistic, i may be picky. Expiry for offers and application, submit by 2009. (I'm just doing what most of you women do, finding the partner is the last part of the wedding and marriage puzzle)

J ;)

2006-09-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

I originally posted this on 14/7/2004 and stumbled across it while googling my name.. oddly enough it was a reference to my name on my buddy Sharizal's blog.. who coincidentally credited me for this posting.. it seems quite fitting for the moment after my recent experience with a certain someone who i felt was the one who certainly fitted the description of who i wanted to marry.. and still do.. despite the sudden but definitely painful separation.. i haven't really posted anything in a very long time so enjoy this.. again..
-----------------------------------------------

9 Ways of Marrying The Wrong Person
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake: Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust". Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.

4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
-chemistry and compatibility
-share common interests
-share common life goal

Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single -- and then find ! someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

5. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?"

6. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's a big difference between controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

7. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way. To evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with! this person. If you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

8. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.

9. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.

2005-10-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

Thursday 20th Oct 2005

Marina leaves behind her college sweetheart and loving husband Areehan (Bowo), two beautiful daughters and her family..

She was 8 weeks pregnant with their 3rd child. She fainted due to low glucose in her body and passed away on the way to the hospital. She was only 29. She was buried the following morning in Seremban.

It is with great sadness to see the heartfelt pain in everyone's faces, eyes and hearts at the hospital as her tiny white cloth wrapped body was carried into the metal casket taken out of the morgue into the van that was destined for her burial. One could almost see the shock on Bowo and everyone's faces as close friends trickled in to say their last goodbyes. Fragile life is. All that is left are happy memories.

Our sincere prayers go out to Marina's family and our dear friend Bowo.. May they have the strength to cope with their sudden loss of an angel, rejoice and realise that she is in a better place now beside Allah, always looking back at us in her sweet smiling ways.

We'll miss you Marina.. :)
Al Fatihah

2005-07-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

"It's always nice to find someone who inspires and amazes you from time to time.. makes the life journey worthwhile" - Johan Nasir

It's been some time again that i have regretfully haven't had the chance to tell you my avid and loyal readers about everything i've so wanted to share over the past few months.. yes work, life & play have been keeping me away.. and more recently, love has completely messed up my already ruined to pieces biological clock to the point i'm writing this half consciously.. so forgive my spelling, grammar and punctuations..

On the work front.. well after a few months of uncertainty, it looks like greener pastures are in the forecast at least for the next 2 years with my work at Cradle.. which is all good considering what a great adventurous rewarding experience it is.. only issue now is clearing up the backlog of stuff that has been increasing for the past few months, which is demanding time that i feel is barely enough nowadays.. Then there's now SmoovePinch! My little side project that mysteriously took a life of it's own and grew into a demanding nagging lady.. hahaha.. we've merged with Pinch Magazine and great things are in the pipeline, unless that variable called time has its way of disrupting our timelines and ambitions.. Working overtime juggling the "Things to do today" checklist..

There's also my other responsibilities for my other business entities and social organisations that i have given my commitment to. All screaming away like hungry babies for attention and time!.. shhh.. shhh.. hush..

On the life and play front.. a lot of travelling has been in play, another trip to Kuching for the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Festival, a trip to Penang, there's Fraser's, Miri and Thailand coming up.. With every trip, i will need to have another vacation to just recover from the fatigue and exhaustion of the fun each destination brings.. pictures yet to be downloaded, stories of experiences yet to be shared, travel that again stole time yet again, from work, my gee and connectivity to responsibilities..

On the love front.. well our eyes met across the room overlooking the pool and evening sun on a breezy Saturday wedding.. She's like the wind.. warm enough to make you feel toasty good, freshly intoxicating that she brings you back to the simplicities and innocense of childhood laughter.. cool like the seaside breeze that lifts your spirits up while giving you goosebumps of anticipation for more.. and miraculously filled the gaping hole once existed in my heart..

Yes, at that point, i didn't have any expectations of another lady coming into my life as with the craziness of juggling 9 different ladies at the same time and all the other obligations above.. time was just not a friend to me.. it was threatening to throw a bitch fit (BF) if i was crazy enough to add on to all this multitasking.. a week passed and she came smacking me with an sms that left a smittened kittened smile plastered ear to ear on my face when i was in Kuching the first trip.. as they say.. the rest was love and history..

We haven't been a day apart since i came back from that trip, with the exception on the days both of us had to travel.. so i guess that means.. i have to say sorry to all you ladies chasing me once again.. you gave your best efforts to wine and dine me.. some of your genuinely had sincere growing feelings for me.. which without a doubt i truly appreciate.. but what to do.. she beat you all to it in record time.. really i don't know how that happened.. you all had your chance to keep this great love for yourself and now she's the one smiling endlessly, beaming away and basking in the clouds of happiness in the love we've made.. (hmm.. i wonder, knowing the female behaviour all too well, i'm waiting for the claws and bites to come out, fighting to win me back.. hahaha ;P)

A note to my reason for relapsed caffeine addiction.. we need sleep angel!!.. hehe.. Didn't think you had any reason to make me feel this amazing high whenever i'm around your warmth, never thought i could be capable to have these feelings for someone again, don't know what i've done to be so fortunate to be blessed with your laughter ringing in my ears or waking up feeling you brighten up my days from the moment my eyes see light till we both retire in embrace..
You know what we've truthfully said to each other in our promise to make all this possible.. thank you for your little dosages of affection and more.. (yes i can so imagine you doing that face of yours now.. )

All of a sudden, time doesn't matter any more.. because you've redefined the importance of it..
J:o)

2005-05-24T15:48:00.000+08:00

I've had a really busy hectic month travelling.. Sabah, Thailand, Singapore, Australia.. and there's so much i want to tell you but i'm just glad to be home for the moment.. there's a lot of feelings going through my heart.. confusing really.. and it's choking me silently..

Angry about my words being taken out of context and used maliciously to slander me and ruining my friendship with a long time good friend..
Anxious about work stuff and new beginnings to a great future..
Confused by all the attention i'm giving or receiving from the women in my life.. while wishing i had the love of just one..
Excited about my trip to Melbourne.. who knows what'll happen there?..
Stressed from all this juggling and multi-tasking..
Tired from my lack of sleep and waiting for you to realise me..
Hungry.. haven't eaten lunch..
Happy from knowing that i'm fortunately blessed with friends, family and those who care..
and there's so much more..

breathe.. all these shall pass..

2005-05-24T15:31:00.000+08:00

I have feelings..

I have the ability to have feelings again..

I feel.. thanks to you..

2005-05-06T15:48:00.000+08:00

One for the ladies..

An old friend i haven't heard from for a long time asked me on the phone the other day.. "There is something about you that's different".. and she continued, "it's sexy.. some thing has changed and i don't know what, but it's making me hott"..

I just naturally dismissed it of course.. since i've been getting that quite frequently this year from a number of women that once considered me a "just a friend".. Translation for the guys, "You will never get in my skirt, but i'll keep you around just in case some jerk hurts me".. sorry dudes.. and u know from my previous posting on what i think about that..

But after being stuck in a relatively dumb traffic jam and having to reply suggestive sms messages from other ladies.. i started to ask.. What has changed here? Yes i've lost weight, some women have complimented on the more sleeker sexier clothes and style.. but.. is it the "girl.. really.. i don't give a damn.." attitude that i've had since i've made it known that i have no conscious interest in chasing women this year?

Is it the scandalous rumours flying around about the various gorgeous women i've been seen with around town? So what if they are hott? I've been with much hotter ones past and present.. no big deal there.. Or is there other secret stories of me going around amongst these women that i'm suddenly a great catch? hahaha.. hmm.. thanks for that favour.. ;)

I have to admit, the main reason i've had to exclude the distraction of women was simply because time doesn't permit me with all my personal and external ventures taking off successfully and really, i just didn't want to be bothered with the "being nice" or their "cuddle bitch" crap.. Go find some other shoulder to cry on.. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not being conscious, a jerk, insecure, egoistical and sarcastic.. there's a very fine difference which most people miss, it's just confidence, believe and purposeful with a mission to achieve.. plus, I just purely don't have the time to sort out these women nor have not met any girl worthy a mental, ambitious, sexual challenge to me to warrant my interest.. yes you can try again but really.. honey, u gotta try harder.. and if any of you feel you wanna be more than a "friend with privileges" then yeah, you can make and appointment and reach my PA.. maybe it's this other bad boy side of me..

What ever on earth has caused this sudden heighten sex appeal and these sudden ramblings? Must be the scent i'm wearing..
(yes dear.. you have to come up real close to my neck.. a little closer.. that's it.. good girl.. you are getting turned on now.. admit it..)

J:o)

2005-05-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

A Spanish Excursion
An original recipe by Johan Nasir

I recently had to cook for a friends BBQ and decided to do some garlic bread and the following dishes came out of my kitchen.. Some of you had or heard about it and asked for the recipe.. so here goes..

Garlic Mushroom with Peppered Potatoes
Ideal served as topping or dip for Garlic Bread or can be tossed with Pasta as a sauce, as an individual Tapas dish or even as a base for other sauces.

Ingredients
Cut Very Finely: 1 Potato, 1 Large White Onion, 1 Red Pepper (de-seed), 1 Garlic Bulb, a Handful Fresh Corriander, 1 Red Tomato (de-seed), 1 Box Fresh Normal Mushrooms (15-20 pieces)Other Ingredients: Spicy Olive Oil, Sesame Seed Oil, Butter, Black Pepper, Dried Red Chilli and Garlic Flakes, Garlic Flavoured Salad Dressing.
Optional: 1 cube Beef Stock, Sausage Meat (fried separately & finely cut).

Peppered Potatoes
Heat Oils with 1 tbs butter for deep frying, toss in 2 tbs portion of onions and garlic, stir fry and add all the potatoes, sprinkle Black Pepper & Dried Chilli Flakes for a few minutes till Potatoes have browned nicely. Separate all cooked ingredients from the oil into a bowl temporarily.
(Note: This can be served as it's own Tapas dish with a sprinkle of the dried garlic flakes and fresh corriander added.)

Garlic Mushrooms
Add 1 tbs butter and sesame seed oil in the previous oil & butter mixture, bring to heat, Fry all remaining Garlic, toss in dash of fresh corriander, black pepper & dried chilli flakes to flavour oil and add all the mushrooms. Add 2 tbs of water 1 cube Beef Stock and the Sausage Meat to allow Mushroom juices to flow.

Toss in diced fresh tomato, the remaining onions and close lid to simmer slowly for 1-2 minutes. Add in Red Peppers. When nearly cooked, add in the remainder of fresh corriander, a dash of Black Pepper, Dried Chilli Flakes & Garlic Flakes, Garlic Flavoured Salad Dressing and remove from flame after 30 seconds.
(Also can be served as it's own Tapas Dish.)

I experimented in creating a fusion dish where one would have multiple flavours exploding in their mouth. I added back the Peppered Potatoes, mixed and combined it with the Garlic Mushrooms in one dish. The result? A multi layered release of flavours from the crispy potatoes to the fresh red peppers and corriander to the beefy mushrooms soaked in it's own oils and the lingering taste of chilli pepper garlic infused oils in one bite. Hungry? hahaha..

Optional Accompanying Omelette
Take 2 Eggs and a table spoon of either individual or the combined dishes above, a few slices of cheese (any normal one will do) mix and stir ingredients in bowl.Fry the ingredients into an Omelette in heated Sesame Seed Oil & Butter. Sprinkle with a dash of fresh corriander.

Serve with pleasure.
Jo :)

2005-04-08T03:12:00.000+08:00

The exploits continues..

After some hard work travelling and having a really busy schedule in the recent months.. the process of personal re-branding has, to some extend taken an interesting turn. It's been a marvelous "Tahun Johan Sexy 2005". I've successfully slimmed down (yes i've lost 5kg's.. the secret is Nasi 1/4, not 1/2 aaa.. and lots of water!). Why not continue the exploits riiight?..

Yes i know i was slightly naughty and even slutty at some point last year but it's was purely for fun.. and what fun it was.. (no animals or women were hurt in this production.. or was there? hmmm..), hahaha.. anyways, it's 2005.. the first 4 months have just zipped by.. and i made a resolution that i wasn't going to go after any girls this year. Nope, not because i was jaded or anything patheticly loser like.. it was just an observation of my life from an external perspective. Why should it fall on the man's responsibility and why can't the opposite be done? I've just made it a policy for the women to chase me instead. Yes most of you laughed it off. There goes Johan on his silly little imaginary trip again.

But... let's not forget, it's almost always that a lady who decides which is their lucky man. (Although i sometimes question their rationale ability and choices). Ladies, if you think that men have not figure you out? You are so wrong. They're just quietely playing along and manipulating the game to the point that you are naively walking your own death row, hell.. some of you walk into same traps that the men managed to convince you to set up for yourself.

Yes if you must know, i did have the desired result of women chasing me and that list includes models, foreign ones too (an interesting tip taught by another foreign male model friend).. Enuff said there.. and at any point in time since January, there's been at least 3-4 women on the radar simultaneously gamed enough to try their luck.. there has been one girl that has been that worthy adversary.. My Baby D, she's still in the picture somehow.. My charms have not worked so well.. demmit! but i have to stick to my Bad Boy policy.. shame really.. It feels like i am in one of those guys on those relationship reality game shows.. hahaha.. The one you really liked and hoped liked you back but there's others who all want you too and it's up to audience SMS votes.. Arrrghh!!

So in an effort to redeem myself from last year.. i tamed down that sluttiness a little bit and created a whole new sexy image. I had some explaining to do of course.. naturally it's a new product, some public education is needed.. To put it quite simply, i believe that most people already know me well enough by now on the surface as the Mr. Nice Guy. So i decided to experiment with being Mr. Bad Boy and a Sexy Playboy.. not changing myself, just merely confident of exposing a little bit more..

Justification? Well, Johan Nasir has many faces, multiple personalities, different layers and most people hardly get the opportunity to discover the other sides of me that also exist. I've never really shown that and since i established that Goody Two Shoes character so much over the years plus i had my bevvy of beauties to constantly defensively yapp and say "Yes!.. Johan.. Oh! He's just such a big sweetheart nice guy sweetie adorable cute darling etc etc etc.." (yucks.. enough of that mushy stuff already :P) to others anywhere i go and with anything i do.. i felt it was safe to build on the Bad Boy layer without much damage to the overall reputation. Yes i did pull it off.. New and improve some were saying.. Sexy, Eligible, Confident, Successful, Mutli Talented, A Must See..

Why did i even bother? Really, i was just bored and mentally unchallenged by people around me. Then a chanced meeting recently with a famous music industry architect personality highlighted an interesting observation he had made. Successful stars, famous people, the ones that last through time in an unforgiving industry survive purely by the fact that these people are not just mere talent, they are personalities, entertainers who constantly re-invent themselves into a new image that sells. Example: Michael Jackson, Madonna, Elton John, Britney Spears, Missy Elliot, P. Diddy, U2, Aerosmith, Metallica, Prince, Destiny's Child, etc etc etc... (yes i know some of you reading this will mis-intepret this by thinking i want to be a superstar.. English ada understooded onot?) Interesting isn't it? Well plenty more observations were made that night about the talents that Malaysia produces (more towards the lack of actually and why they will never reach international stardom.. but that's a whole long other story..)

Sidetrack: Note to aspiring/current artists, if you really really want to make it internationally, then come up with a Professional Promotional EPK and RM 5000. Nope it's not a scam, just a test of your passion and thirst.. We're serious if you are! Sorry we find the Local Music Industry, the Akademi Fantasia's and Malaysian Idol's as unsuitable platforms to launch you internationally..

Back to my reality.. I guess my experimental journey of re-branding has brought about a new understanding of myself. I'm still very much the same person, only to others, they are discovering other sides of me that they never knew existed. The end result, confusion. Ahhh.. Nothing like a little scandal and drama to get those mouths talking again. Drama-nyaaa..

Anyways, I guess i've come to the point that i don't really need to sell my heart and soul to some girl out there who's probably too whatever to be worthy of me. I have market value and i've been told that the saham is quite high since last time. That's already established if not reinforced in recent times. I know some girls testing the waters know partially about that growing value. God knows why they're hesistant to discover more. (Tip: Less dreaming about the perfect guy and less bishing about the screw up your with. Really, I'm personally sorry, talking with most of you girls just tells me that most women out there really are clueless about what they want and what they have and how obvious it is that your guy has you by your non-existent balls.. it's really a major turn off that some of you don't realise that no matter how many times i tell you to wake up.)

I know what i want in life. I know what i can give to someone who is special in my life. I know my abilities to really love someone in my life and that someone will be very lucky (as a number of my lady friends would testify). So it's just a matter of time that someone sees that value and grabs me before someone else does. It's like finding that last perfect pair of shoes in your size shopping during a sale. You snooze, you lose.

Best of all.. i'm happy thank you very much. Couldn't be better. Enjoying the company of multiple intriguing people that i see have potential and dare to stick around. Nope this wasn't a bishing session about women. Till the next episode of "Who Wants To Marry The Average Joe"

Modern Law of Economics: With proper marketing and creation of the artificial Demand of Goods,.. the Supply of Sales will come in naturally due to the impact of Consumerism and Convergent Advertising trends. Is it really that hard to figure out?

Jo :)

2005-02-07T19:07:00.000+08:00

Play of the Heart (Work in Progress)
by Johan Nasir

Why is it that this game of love be complicated,
when both of us want the same thing desired,
the feeling of truly being loved by someone close
and yet we play hard to get with silly guarded poses..

We see each other, acting all independant and guarding
We hint little messages, trick questions, mind readings
but end up with more unanswered questions
leaving the heart in more anxiety and tension..

See it's really simple, I already know i want you..
I don't know if you see the stealing glance..
I don't know if you want to take the chance
and explore a little further in giving and receiving
what you said you always wanted and longin..
what you've been looking in the wrong places and not gettin..

I'm not saying that this feeling is love babyboo,
I'm not saying that i'm the best person for you,
I know i just don't wanna be in another,
"i love you as a friend" situation either,
Soulmates don't necessary make lasting
relationship partners that make your heart sing.

But i do know one thing my angel pure,
i'm gonna treat you like u never been before,
take our own sweet time, don't wanna rush,
ain't gonna hush, it's gonna be lush and plush
so what's it gonna be my precious crush?..
are we gonna hit the jackpot with a royal flush?

I'm lovin these moments together we spent,
clandestine meetings grooving under the tent,
you light up the room with your sexy dimple..
you're like a queen on a whole new exotic level..
don't want you to ever feel alone in this travel..
i'll be here waitin for you to give me a signal..

2005-02-06T06:39:00.000+08:00

A dedication to baby d..

Song: Like Me Real Hard
Artiste: Mario

We've had such a great time
in these past two months
never laughed so much in my life
It's been all about us
since the time we had that intimate talk

Suddenly, you're acting strange, plus
your conversation just stopped and changed
is it because you're afraid
of what your feelin for me
is the beginnin' of a new heartbreak?
Hear me when i say...

You ain't gotta give me your love (no)
You ain't gotta say I'm your one (you ain't gotta no)
You ain't gotta say where you be (oh no)
Cos you ain't obligated to me
I'm not sayin that you should just
Rush and give me your heart
I'm just askin that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard

You know, just like I know
we've been broken by love
And we both need time to heal
That's why, in this short amount of time
We've grown so close,
Cos you relate to everything i feel

So lets not complicate things, by
Placing titles on you and I
But what we can do
Before we make the next move
We gotta find a perfect reason why
So believe me when I say.....

You ain't gotta give me your love (no no..)
You ain't gotta say I'm your one (you ain't gotta tell me where you be..)
You ain't gotta say where you be (cos you ain't obligated to me..)
Cos you ain't obligated to me
I'm not sayin that you should just
Rush and give me your heart
I'm just askin that you
Like me real hard (My baby baby)
Just like me real hard

You ain't ready to fall in love
And I ain't ready to care so much
We ain't ready for commitment right now
But together we can work something out
And we'll know,
When the time is right,
Because we'll feel it in our hearts,
It'll be written in the stars,
But for now,
Just like me real hard

You ain't gotta give me your love (baby)
You ain't gotta say I'm your one (you ain't gotta say i'm the one)
You ain't gotta say where you be (oh no.. wooh)
Cos you ain't obligated to me
I'm not sayin that you should just
Rush and give me your heart (no..)
I'm just askin that you
Like me real hard (yeah..)
Just like me real hard (would you do it baby)

You ain't gotta give me your love (your love.. no..)
You ain't gotta say I'm your one (and i ain't gotta be the one)
You ain't gotta tell me where you be (baby)
Cos you ain't obligated to me (cos you ain't obligated to me)
I'm not sayin that you should just
Rush and give me your heart
I'm just askin that you (like me baby, be a friend to me)
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard (baby baby baby baby please yeah..)

wooh..
i just want to be with you baby
i just want you.. be my friend girl yeah..
I'm not sayin.. sayin.. oh no..
I'm just askin that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2005-01-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

The Bali New Years Club Tour 2004-05
Written By: Johan Nasir
Starring: Nizz, Sheridan, Kean Au, Ratna, Sazzy, Johan, Endie & Roza.

Day 1
After a long wait at the airport, we were finally off to Bali on Air Asia.. Sazzy & I were giggling in excitement chanting Bali! Bali! Bali! said in the thickest Indian slang with our two index fingers twirling in the air (a tribute to Rafai), anticipating the fun while Dan, Nizz & Kean were already downing it in the plane. First of all, this is a partying trip, not a chill out, sightseeing, water sports or shopping trip. Sigh.. we are so gonna be in trouble. Airport drama at Ngurah Rai as our duty free items got err.. sorted. Slight drizzle but that couldn't dampen our spirits. We arrive greeted by the Diamond Star Hill Villa staff Wahyu & Bayu at the airport.. Really nice guys.

Arrived to a royal welcome at the Villa with flower garland, cold towel, etc.. all this just as we stepped out of the car!! Got ushered to our private villa. Omigodd!! I want my house to be like this! We have our in-house butler and driver at our beck and call 24 hours a day! There's our own private spa pool out back, intricate and beautiful Balinese decor, even each of the bathrooms are gorgeous! So worth it! Check out other hotel options and map.

12.30 midnight, we're dressed casually to hit the clubs & eat. Off we go with our driver, either Pak Kiwi or Agung, to give us a taste of Bali on the way to our destination Hu'u Bar in Seminyak. Ok, you know those breezy cool clubs at the beach with beautiful people living it up that you see in expensive advertisements. Yeah.. that's Hu'u Bar. Everywhere we turned, model looking people all around us that you're spoilt for choice. Ratna said the guys were mostly gays though. Hurray, more choice of ladies for us guys! The live band was soooo chill rockin! The vibe was jazzy with a touch of house on live instruments. It felt like we were one of the models blending in. Soooo wanted to stay..

Unfortunately, we were super hungry. So off we go with 'dude' to Warong Baku Dapa with Ratna & Kean having a perut lapar mood swing. Food!!.. Yummy! Stomach's filled.. it's off to Club DeJaVu.. Old skool house with and excellent mix of Underworld Born Slippy & Prodigy Firestarter and Club 66 (Double Six) for some funky breakbeat trance. We danced the night away. Not bad for a first night and it's a Tuesday?!!

Day 2
The day begins slow as everyone was exhausted and completely drained from first night of dancing till 6am. Woke up at 2pm so hungry! We're all dressed to go to watch the amazing sunset on deck chairs, Cafe del Mar style music with Jakatta & Sexual Healing playing at Ku dé Ta. DJ Glynn was around and spins there. Champagne, Strawberry's, Cigar, friends. What more can you ask for. This is paradiso. Seafood dinner at Menega Café in Jimbaran next!

Passed through all the roads and seeing all these shops selling amazing woodcrafts, tiles and other interior decor stuff just makes you wish you had a million bucks to shop and Bali up your home! So coming back. Home from dinner and chilled at the villa before heading out Hu'u Bar but it was closed so we went to Paparazzi to hook up with Apek, Jamal, Tasha & Tania. It's a bit like the old Bliss but more stylish. Next were back at Club 66 till 6am. Bumped into Jahl & Love who spins at Kama Sutra and was invited to have a jam with him on Thursday. Dan & Nizz stayed behind and ended up in the Club 66 pool and treated the security guys to breakfast.

Day 3
It was a chill out day. Spent the day lazing & lounging at the pool. Found Nizz sleeping outside under the tent. Sazzy & Ratna wanted to get a tan while I went for a swim with the rest. Nizz, Kean & Dan did a super Tsunami and the Flying Dugong. 6pm - Me, Sazzy & Ratna decided to go for a mini Spa & Balinese massage. It was awesome! So relaxed that we all came out like floating on air.

Got dressed and it was off to club Kama Sutra for my set. Nice place, a bit like Hard Rock concept with Live Band and all. The rest went to eat at Warong Made near Legian while I did my set. Managed to get the crowd moving and dancing. Found out from Love after I finished, that my set, along with the Live Band was actually broadcasted live On Air on Radio Kuta 106.0 FM all across Bali! I had played live out to the whole island and didn't even know it! Awesome feeling. Hooked up with the rest at M-Bar-Go & Fuel. Both RnB and house clubs directly across the road from one another. M-Bar-Go was a bit like Orange industrial set up while Fuel was like Bliss.

Met the owner Pak Anggara who chilled out with us and Tasha's gang. Then it was off to Paparazzi again and Club 66 to finish the night off. Pak Anggara brought us in thru the secret passage door from Paparazzi into Club 66 and avoided the cover charge. Now we're talking VIP. Fazura, Razman, Zaa & Azrin were there too. It was great as we met up with all the KL friends we've bumped into on our trip with the new Indonesian friends we met. Dan was a casualty for the night as he sprained his ankle from a surfing accident in the club swimming pool and bumped his head on a roadside stand roof selling cigarettes. Came home to the villa and the gang decide to head for the pool at 7am! What a fun trip this has been.

Day 4
New Years Eve. So much for shopping as everyone woke up super late & tired. Well no point going out as the major roads will be closed and traffic will be a nightmare. Endie (the other party maniac) & Roza, had just arrived. The plan? French food at Axiom and Fuel for a free flow session with Pak Anggara. Then to Ku dé Ta for a night at the Playboy Mansion (see pictures) by the beach for countdown and finishing the night at Club 66. Endie was so good looking that night that all chicks in Ku dé Ta want to have his baby. If only he could get it up. Oh pity.. pity!

We didn't end up in Fuel as planned due to road closure so we walked to Spy Bar for the countdown. We were behind our schedule as we got to the restaurant late and dinner was so so long as they served us Chinese dinner style but delicious. By the time we were done, it was 30 minutes to countdown and we went for the nearest option, Spy Bar. Good Music. Cute waitress, Jasmine. Got stuck in 30 minutes traffic to and back from Ku dé Ta only to find out that we couldn't get in as the place was too full with 2000 beautiful people. Even Camelia and Kak Maggie were stuck outside with us. We should have bought the presale tickets as suggested by Glynn. Sigh. It was amazing how the roads are so narrow and unplanned. Spirits dampened a bit, we headed to where else, Club 66. It was like a crowd standing in front of the stage of a rock concert at the entrance and we were in that mix for a while. Pak Anggara came to our rescue and brought us in after a while. Ok, looking back, a lot of things we planned or actually did could have been done differently but then again, no point in letting that spoil our fun.

Just a lesson for us and others to remember in future New Years Eve celebrations. It's going to be chaotic, keep it simple and get in to wherever you wanna go early rather than getting stuck in a mess of people and being turned away. We finally got in to 66 and it was super packed. Complete with bungee jumping at Rupiah 450,000! Awesome jumping moments. Three Arena’s with the heavy house set in the main room and the Breakbeat and Drum’n’Bass set outdoor by the pool and they linked up Paparazzi playing smoother funky and jazzy house, where we chilled to watch the sunrise with the breeze from the sea from the deck. Sazzy & Kean left for the villa while we stayed on and headed to 66 for a short while and DeeJay Cafe with Pak Anggara, Jamal & Tasha's friends, which was a dark underground club with heavy techno house. Tired at 9am we left for the villa. I lost Sazzy camera and all the beautiful pictures of New Year Eve. I don’t know how it magically disappeared despite constantly being careful with it. Sad and angry as hell. All those great pictures. Nizz joined Dan as anklet buddies. He twisted his ankle too.

Day 5
Woke up really late today.. So tired. Everyone was just so spaced out. Still feeling extremely miserable for losing Sazzy's camera. It was just a chill out day. We got dressed for New Years Dinner at the Villa. Yummy and got completely stuffed. We were off to Ku dé Ta & Hu'u Bar. Nice. Had to meet up with Seng at Hu'u and ended up there the whole night. Unfortunately, the band that played there on Tuesday was only playing for one night and they were from Jakarta it seems. I wandered off to Ku dé Ta alone just out of curiosity to catch one last great moment but it was closed. Sazzy went off with Glynn to Spy Bar for a while. It was a beautiful night. Back at the Villa again. Our earliest return for the night so far - 4am. Me & Kean went straight to bed while the rest stayed up and chilled out.

Day 6
Woke up early 10.30am to pack and get ready for a day of shopping. The rest continued to sleep in a bit more before they went shopping as well. A motorcyclist shocked me & Agung on the way to Kuta, when his bike went into a pothole and fell instantaneously while he was riding beside us. Hope he and pillion are ok. Started at Kuta Arts & Craft market near Matahari Square. Got some real bargains there. Then took a walk toward and up Legian Road and Seminyak where all the shops were.

Nizz, Ratna and Kean had lunch at La Luccialo while Sazzy did all her errands with Dan in Pantai Kuta. I managed to get to Sari Club, Ground Zero, directly beside Pak Anggara's clubs, Fuel & M-Bar-Go. Found him in Fuel and had a fruity banana & watermelon mix drink with him. Wished I had more time to shop as I didn’t managed to reach the shops in Seminyak, as it was about 4pm already and had to rendezvous with the rest back at Matahari Square down in Kuta. Bumped into Mass, Liza, Kimi, Shezlinn, Azlinn and gang there. Rushed back to the hotel and repacked the bag with all the new stuff we bought as me, Kean & Sazzy have a flight home to catch while Nizz, Ratna, Dan had to check out of the villa and stay on for a couple of days with Endie & Roza. Said sad goodbye's to all the staff at the villa.

At the airport now. Bought Kicap ABC! Hahaha. Waiting to get on board. Sigh. Gonna miss you Bali but we will be back. Thanks for the great memories. Soon.

Note: No animals were harmed during this cool vacation. The Flying Dugong is still alive and well.

2005-01-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

Song: Let Me Love You
Artiste: Mario

Mmmm ..... Mmmmm.... Yeah....Mmmmm....Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Mmmm...Yeah....Mmmm..... Yeah, Yeah

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are ,you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night, doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fist full of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you,you are)

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame
Don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fist full of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Ooh Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me....

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!
So can we make this thing ours?

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

[repeat til it ends (about 3 times)]

Let me love you that's all you need baby

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-11-06T09:47:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Uno

The journey to work today was nearly enough to piss me off big time (and to those who know me well enough, know it’s nearly impossible to get me angry). I swear the level of driving competencies of drivers with the Klang Valley is rapidly deteriorating to a dangerous level of stupidity and inconsideration for others. And yet it goes on and on, on a daily basis.

What am I on about? Well, if you are one of the thousands who commute by car to work everyday, open your eyes and take notice of the stupid (sometimes hilarious) and inconsiderate things the drivers do that just kills of your mood for the day before your boss had anything to do with it. There were recent hoohaa’s a few months back about the increasing levels of accidents and road rage around the country and the public outcry to encourage safe driving and bla bla bla.. Everyone was for change and better enforcement of road bullies and speed demons. Well I’m all for that but what most of these people who shared their opinion don’t realise that the represent the majority that causes these congestions and jams we unsuspecting victims have to go through psychologically everyday. I intend to produce this into a Reality TV series like those “Most Dangerous Police Video’s” style footages from a hidden camera in my car. It would be good to publicly humiliate these car owners and be a lesson to others who do not take initiative to drive properly.

I am very sure there will be a whole sleuth of people who will be against my views on this subject and some might think you are not one who I am referring to. Well I am talking about you and even me. If you have common sense then what I have to say will make sense. So exercise some common courtesy and read on. Understand it and practice it as it may save your life and make you a better considerate driver. It would make KL and PJ a heaven to drive but that’s just wishful thinking. It could even reduced Pak Lah's "Major Sadness" for the accident rates in the country. For definition purposes, when I say Slow, I mean anywhere between 20%-40% below the speed limit, Normal speeds is the speed limit +/- 10% and Fast means 20%-30% above the speed limit.

First point! We have the courage and odasity to slack off those young “Probationary” or “Learner” drivers for driving too slow and annoying the living daylights out of other drivers. We probably even say they shouldn’t be allowed on the road and all that. Tsk tsk tsk.. Shame on you. You were once a driver learning as well. Give them a chance and guide them the right way and they will eventually become better drivers than you are right now. Yes you! I see it repetitively, countless drivers who have 5, 10, 20 years of driving experience still driving like they just came out from the driving school just yesterday. It’s as if they have not driven a car in their life before. These are very dangerous and inconsiderate drivers who are the actual cause of the majority of accidents if you examine accident cases closely.

We have been droned in our heads since we got our license that one should drive safely. Countless government campaigns, parental paranoia and fatal accident pictures in the media, all contributing to a society of fearful drivers. Get this point right. “A Slow Driver does not make a Safe Driver!” Instead of learning to drive and understand the art of driving, we end up ignoring the very basic rule of driving safely. Knowledge, Understanding, Logic, Control, Experience, Flow. I’ll elaborate this as we go along. You can also take this detour.

Herein lays the paradox of safe driving. Volvo had this problem amongst their customers a long time ago. We all know that Volvo cars are built safe for life. Unfortunately the customers who bought the cars were safety paranoids who had the mental thought, “Ooh, this is a safe car and I should drive this car slow so I’ll be even safer”. The whole concept of Volvo’s investment into safety was to allow drivers to drive faster safer! It is a powerful car that was built safe so that we could be safe in any situation. Unfortunately, Volvo designers got the look wrong too and ended up attracted those boring bespectacled nerdish drivers that seriously didn’t have a life in the first place. Look if you are going to drive that slow, you probably achieve the same levels of safety from a bloody Kancil! Thank god that has changed in recent times but the old huge boxy 240 models still hog the right lane going at 50km/h on a 80 km/h road being oblivious to the obvious honks, high beam flashes and queue’s of cars behind them. Move!! Are you unclear of the concept?

This also applies to the old 1970's-1980's Datsun's, Toyota's and Opel's cars that have past their life expectancy with similarly older drivers who despite their so called wisdom in age. I swear the condition of these cars are beyond believe. How Puspakom approves their 'safe' use on the road is questionable. The owners will be driving on the speed lane at 50 km/h and give you the "look' when you pass them on the left. Some old ladies have even raised the finger!, when you have been queing behind 20 other cars who had to overtake from the left as well before you. Despite each and everyone of them having given the courtesy honk and high beams too! If you know your car is unable to match the speed and pick-up of the fast and furious, for god sake, MOVE LEFT!!! Aiyoyoyooooo..

In Part Duo: Car Control, Seating Positions and Senses

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

2004-09-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

Confessions
Part 3
Sept 2004

"My eyes bleed rouge as crystal tears stray from my heart, it will pass" – by Johan Nasir

So hard to breathe, almost in shock and choking, like a virus slowly eating away your internal organs with the inevitable death just a few hours away. Pain is so sharp that it numbs all thought and logic. Yet, it feels right, yes, this is what pain feels like, a broken heart, a fool of blinding love, a victim of longing hope. Forgotten that feeling for so many years. Void of any emotion. Stuck in a dark world as I searched for that bright light from another angel. Was she really another? Will there be another? Thought I was saved. Was lifted by her to the heavens. Where did I go wrong? Need some alone time to grieve. All cried out now. Why does it hurt so bad? Saddened by choice. Was I too late? What good is it to be able to give so much love and end up discarded like an empty packaging? Struggling to find answers to all random chaotic questions. Pathetic pities be gone, no sadness be required. Accept it is real part of whole, for what is love without destructive and joyous emotions.

Deep ice breath causing frost bites in the respiratory system again. No peace of mind as the world passes by. Still love. It will pass. It will pass. Time heals. Make it go away. So cold. Your warmth left. This room in my heart got the best of me. It was all but a beautiful dream. Only had love to give and even maybe that was wrong. Nothing to live for without you. Come back. Don’t walk away from this great love just yet. Said I’d be okay without. Realising now my mind is not as strong to block this serotonin chemicals and hyperactive neurotransmitter signals coming from my chest and head. Lay down broken. Words losing all meaning as I write this. Why is my mind telling me, going thru a million more painful moments like this with you is still worth it that to spend it happy with someone else? Much is this love. So much. Didn’t know it was just my love. Falling, fallen, felt the ground crush. Fragile and shattered. Confused senses. Blurred reality. Drowning, swallowed by a pool of tears and bleeding heart. So beautiful. She’s an eternal vision.

Did I do this to myself? Why? Why not? What am I missing as a man? Was the pure love I had just for you too overwhelming? Was I invisible? Was I blind to the signs? Was it so wrong to give you all of me? In denial. Feel like a soul without a body, a body that just got smashed beyond recognition to me. A bright love floating around without a home. You were home. Missing you and it doesn’t make any sense. Like snow coming down in June. What’s happening? I’m losing sight as tears blur my vision. Fighting a losing battle with the pain. If we wasn’t love, why am I feeling like I’ve lost you. Some will say it’s your loss; I just wanted it to be your gain. Searching myself for reason because everything is in disarray. Don’t want to anything. Don’t wanna try. Temporary this. Tender love wounds heal. Wish I was in your safe comforting arms. Wish yours I am. Does she see? Each step walking barefoot on crushed glass. No describable near pain as now. Where am I? Nothing seems familiar. Strange experience. Emotions racing spinning me around as time stand still. Trembling. I will survive another dark hour. Just a matter of counting down the minutes to another happiness. Maybe one sweet day. She’s innocent and contented. Smile. Survive. Pretend if must. Day will come after this night.

Angel, save me.
Life, guide me.
Love, find us.
Allah, heal me.
Happiness, find her.

2004-09-28T17:45:00.000+08:00

Song: Kissing A Fool
Artists: George Michael

You Are Far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you

People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and ties
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe i'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But i'll never find
Peace of mind
While i listen to my heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart

And people
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like i always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other

You are far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that i was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-09-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

Song: I Don't Want To
Artiste: Toni Braxton

I really don't feel like talking on the phone
And I really don't feel like company at home
Lately I don't want to do the things I used to do
Baby since I lost you

And I don't want to sing another love song babe
I don't want to hum another melody
I don't want to live my life without you babe yeah
It's driving me crazy (crazy)

I really don't feel like smiling anymore
And I haven't had the peace to sleep at all
Ever since you went away
Baby my whole life has changed
I don't want to love and I don't want to live

And I don't want to sing another love song babe
I don't want to hum another melody
I don't want to live my life without you babe yeah
It's driving me crazy (crazy)

I don't wanna laugh, I don't wanna play
I don't wanna talk, I have nothing to say
I don't want to tour, forget this show and how can I go on
Now that you are gone

And I don't want to sing another love song babe
I don't want to hum another melody
I don't want to live my life without you babe yeah
It's driving me crazy (crazy)

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-09-20T11:38:00.000+08:00

Song: You're Still You
Artiste: Josh Groban

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you

I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you

You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you

I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through

And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-09-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Confessions
Part 1
May 2004

It has been some time since I last wrote in here, sorry, a lot has happened, mostly good things, some unforgettable, some to be kept quiet and never spoken of again. In all honesty, it’s been a non-stop roller coaster ride of experiences, activities and emotions. Am not going to go into details on most of them because the past has passed and it’s too long to list. The party scene has been pumping as usual and so was my slutty cat adventures. Meeeoooww.. ;)

I have to let something of my chest though because it’s been quite a few weeks since I last wrote and recent events has caused me to transform from the suave slutty cat into a shy smitten kitten.. Yes, I have.. and it’s a scary experience for me. Certain things have triggered this trip. You see, as I mentioned, I have been single lately and I saw no harm to have a little fun on the town with my gal pals and friends. I’ve really been to a certain extend happy to spend that time with them but deep down, there was still a huge gaping void in that heart area. So here goes my confession. If it starts to get too mushy for you, just close the browser, if you share my pain and celebration of that thing called love, read on.

Detour: A few years ago, I was really swept off my feet and flew up by a love that I thought was going to be the kind you see in those Meg Ryan type movies. Few and rare have had that impact on me. To cut the long story short, I really fell so in love with her. Really fell like the kind u feel as if you’ve met your soul mate and I was the happiest person alive even at the darkest time of my life so far. Unfortunately, without reason, I was discarded by her like a cigarette butt at the most vulnerable point of my life. Till today, I have no understanding of her decision and betrayal. Hurt really bad, lost all feeling, lost all trust in giving love and any confidence I had left in people and relationships. Miserable as hell but had no choice but to pretend and mask the pain in order to pull myself out of the bottomless pit caused by a combination of events. At the lowest point, I had a tough challenge to rebuild whatever that was left. I was personally numbed of all feeling. It was impossible to feel any kind of love. It was the hardest and quietest moments of my years. It affected everything that I had worked hard my whole life to build. I just wasn't me anymore. I was literally a zombie, a body walking around with my spirit, soul and passion for life missing entirely. That was over 6 years ago. It's hard to write this all down as i have to relive some of those moments playing back like a loop tape in my head again. This is not some insecurity trip, just a detailed account of what really happened. My story. Nothing to hide. Ready to come clean as i've moved on. It has taken that long to heal, scars and reminders of that painful journey still exists till now, even taking the better part of my ex-fiancé who roughed it out while I battled my own demons.

Detour still: She sadly, became the victim of my pain. I thank her for her sacrifices, so so sorry for all the pain she had to accept without condition, the love she continuously gave while nurturing me back to a state of recovery. There’s only so much however, one can give before being drained of their own strength. It’s like that vampire scene where one vamp can’t drink the last drop blood from another vamp or else there will be dire consequences. You know what I mean? In any case, upon reflection, I’ve grown to accept the fact that, should I have healed, the relationship wouldn’t have lasted due to different temperaments and other conflicts only obvious to us. It was for the best anyways. There was no point in forcing a relationship further to only cause more pain to someone who didn’t deserve to go through pain in the first place.

Had to see her the other night. Some things that needed sorting. It was a awkward trip down memory lane. Both of us trying to remain casual as friends and keeping the deep history locked down under cool calm exterior. Updates about each others lives, relationships, work and stuff. It got weirder towards the end as the topics started to get more intense. It came to the point she gave me back my wedding ring that we bought together. Wedding Ring!!! Heavy big step there. Total life flashback of our relationship just raced through my mind for a second. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against getting married. Well not that much anyways. I just want to do it when it's with someone we both can see being together clearly for a long time. For the right reasons. You just know when the time comes. It was an emotional goodbye. The goodnight cheek kiss twisted into a teary long hug. Couldn't help but feel a gap there on the walk back to the car. Guess there's still some lingering feelings for both of us to go separate ways. We both had to be strong no matter the pain. That chapter has now closed for me at the very least. Looking ahead. Pain and hurt wounds might heal but scars will remain.

Back to the story: Thankfully, there were some really strong women in my life that I could lean on for that temporary medication. They know who they are, as time passed and i thank them too for filling in the gaps here and there, training me to rebuild my soul. Going out, meeting new people, having the ability to get comfortable to talk to anyone, was a nightmare for me. I was separate, in another place even though physically there. Most people who know me personally would swear that they can’t imagine me that way. I was a happy person, I grew up happy with countless friends and a great family, always cheerful, an ambitious, positive and driven person, a socialite who knew how to have fun. Then the above incidents happened and I ended up in an emotional coma for years, which I would say I had not fully gotten out of, until recently. Not that many people knew this story in full, the correct version, except the very few that i trusted the most. Felt i can be more transparent about it. No point crying over spilt milk now, i'm all cried out.

The partial reason why I’m writing this is simply because I felt I had to do this as a closure for myself and to one day soon, I hope, make this one amazing person that has recently successfully made me feel whole again know and understand how much she has done for me effortlessly in such a short time. She might not understand the full magnitude of what impact she has had so far on me. The best part is, she might not even realize that she has done that at all so far as I have not indicated my interest directly, for some clear reasons that i can't reveal. I don't think either one of us is ready. We all have our own demons to battle don't we? Masking it, pretending that it doesn't exist, numbing it by doing dumb things, putting up a strong front no matter how vulnerable and weak we were at the moment.

The story: It all began a couple of weeks ago. This lady entered my life in the middle of the night in a way that was pleasantly distracting. I was spinning my tunes and her presence totally took me by such surprise that I actually lost ability and concentration to go on playing. Frozen beyond words and movement. I felt my heart beat again. The strong heart that was shattered and had to be restored patiently piece by piece. It had taken me over 6 years to feel that warmth of blood that makes you feel all fuzzy and silly. For 2 weeks, I stood there in agony, not knowing who she was as she turned up. Watching her, her flawlessness, her grace, it was as if she was the only one in the room, magnetic and poetic indeed. I had nothing else to base it on since I didn’t know who she was but it was more than enough. Asking around revealed little information. I know the scene and faces in and out. No one slips through my eyes. Where did she come from?

Sure, you might say, well it might be like the other girls I have been writing about. There will be another story next week about another girl. Sorry to disappoint you. I have literally stopped my flirtatious ways since that day I saw her the first time. It was pointless now and so I’ve completely stopped so that I can be smitten by her. She somehow had me mesmerized under the spell of her exotic pretty brown eyes. I swear that there’s some spell she’s casting on the people around her. She had the others in the room that way too as I observed the worker bees craving to access the queen. Thankfully, I knew the security detail protecting her from any unwanted harm.

Eventually we were introduced and she has the sweetest voice. I was all nervous, like a little kid having his first crush, taking his first date on a prom night, the first kiss. It was the most excruciating past few weeks. She's got me twisted. This time around, it’s different as, it wasn’t the case where I lost the ability to converse with people because of the pain of the past. It was simply because I felt so elevated and so calm at peace simultaneously that words were at ground zero. If she reads this one day, she’d probably laugh in that sweet smile she has. Personally, getting to know her has been slightly more difficult than I thought possible. There are some issues that need to be worked out. We have found ways around problems communicating to each other though.

I have been trying my level best to control my excitement and happiness whenever I even hear her name or see her picture. Imagine me then when she’s around. It is so excrutiatingly unbearable as I can’t make it too obvious without alerting too many people. I’m taking my time, to get to know her, invest my time and soul again in this lady, spend time with her, prolong this high she’s giving me without her being influenced by external factors. I’m remembering how it was to be romantic again. I'm filled with hope that the relationship grows in a positive direction. Wishing one day I can tenderly wrap my arms around her and whisper thank you for bringing me back to life and how precious she is to me. Hoping that the feelings have grown into a mutual affection that lasts our lifetime by then. Ok, ok.. I’ll spare the romantic mushy stuff for her.

I may be dreaming or disillusioned, maybe even setting myself up for another huge fall but if I didn’t try at the very least, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I am consciously aware that she will be trouble for me. Instinct. She has the potential to hurt me even more than the others before. Isn’t that what passion, infatuation and adventure is all about. Wanting something u desire so much even if you can’t have it, doing something that pushes you into unknown territories. The mere thought of her is best feeling I’ve felt in a long long long time, so I’m going to take this opportunity to appreciate it, even if it isn’t reciprocated, even if it means I will get hurt again. I'm stronger now. Been through the pain. More prepared for anything, with a better outlook, perception and expectation of varying outcomes. Give it time. It will pass. Sometimes we have to let go and move on into unchartered teritories.

I can’t take her off my mind though, totally distracted during the day, can’t sleep at night, dreaming, breathe, thinking, wondering, anticipating and going really crazy. Enjoying every moment I get to spend time with her. All the time trying so hard to maintain the cool cat composure. I’m glad by the fact that the more I talk to her, the more I’m starting to discover and appreciate her for the individual person that she is. She’s beautiful from the inside. It shows. She will reach her own ascension of success on her own too in future and I want to be there when that happens. It’s as if I am glowing with the aura of her refreshing spirit all over. It’s overwhelming to the point that I don’t remember ever feeling this way about any of my previous relationships or anyone else i've met in a long time. I’m not saying I’m falling in love with her as it’s too soon even for me, it’s a possibility in future, but I know I’m freefalling towards something. Question is if it’s the hard concrete floor or a soft air bed.

The funny thing is I strangely believe that there’s no such thing as the perfect person. It’s only perception. It’s really about how well each other can mutually compromise on each others temperament, how well they can communicate, trust, respect support and understand each others goals and feelings, adapt, accommodate and be comfortable with each others quirks, share meaningful and affectionate moments together. Looks is nothing without substance. Sure it helps initially from the attraction infatuation level but the love grows out of the friendship, time, discovering each other. Over time, it’s not the looks that counts but how they look at each other which carries more weight. The memories and experiences that the relationship was built on. Of course, there are other factors.

Honestly, I don’t know how she feels about me yet. That’s adding on the confusion. I’m having trouble reading between the lines as my judgment may be clouded by overflowing emotions. Six years of suppression and longing can do that to a person. I hope it’s not too much for her and pray that she doesn’t freak out. I hope that she'll take time to discover more about me and find something special in me too and that all i want is to make her happy. I really wanna spend time discovering her multiple layers. She just moves me, completes me, calms me. She makes me feel brand new, reborn again, free from pain. It's just how she makes me feel even if she doesn't do a thing. Wish i can thank her one day.

Hmmm.. I suspect she might already suspect that I have a thing for her. I suspect that information could have leaked somehow through mutual friends or my actions maybe. My gal pals have all said that girls usually will know if a guy likes them or not. They all said i look like a happy little boy. LOL!! I wish I knew something, something to go on with, some sign. I guess as much as I’m trying to make it as inconspicuous as possible, some signs have slipped. Ok, so i can't help but smile when i'm around her. Fault me for being a total smittenkitten. This is just my story. How i personally feel at this moment. I'm human. Some feelings can't hide. Most others are still guessing who this mystery angel is. There’s so much more I wish I could say about her but that could compromise her identity and privacy. I don't have any intent to hurt her. Why do people hurt someone they care about? I’m just so happy to know her and to have her by my side even if it's for a split second of my lifetime, regardless of the future outcome. God truly works in mysterious ways. Got to taste the bitter before you can appreciate the sweetness i say. So to all of you who have been through this stuff and back again, i know you can relate. To those who haven't, well, there's nothing like the warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone else makes you as happy as this. Hope you find your special someone too, somewhere, someday. Keep on dreaming.

Jo :)

Songs for the moment: Tamia - So in to you, George Michael - I can't make you love me, George Michael - Amazing, Mariah Carey, 98 Degrees & Joe - Thank god i found you, Selena - Dreaming of you

Luck

2004-08-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Subject: The luck factor!
By Professor Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me. Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.

Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside.

I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying:

"Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win #250." This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high.

It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.

They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, and expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.

One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened.

The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.

Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factor".

Here are Professor Wise man's four top tips for becoming lucky:
- Listen to your gut instinct -they are normally right.
- Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
- Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well.
- Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy. So come on people.. Luck can be manipulated to be on your side. It's all in the mind.

2004-07-28T15:42:00.000+08:00

In Pursuit of the Ultimate Nasi Kandar in Penang!

The key to good Nasi Kandar in Penang lies in knowing the exact time to locate the Mamak culprit serving it....ie at the time of your craving or needs...it's no good if you have the craving and only find low budget stuff... hehehe..

If you’re craving / needs/ falls during these times, then the places to go are...

1) 11am - 3pm (24hours) Hameediyah Restaurant (since 1960) Campbell Road - 80m from Penang Road...my fav combo are Chicken Kurma with Fish Curry + Massala Squid Eggs + Chilli Pickle... noni factor 4 out of 5... 2 helpings recommended... also the Murtabak is above average in Penang, the best in Penang (opposite GAMA) has since disappeared due to loss in kin line...also the Pasembur (Rojak to K Lians) is good here, especially with the lungs combo... noni factor 2 out of 5... don't say Rojak in Penang... you'll get the fruit kind..

2) 11am - 1pm Tajuddin Tomato Rice... awesome Tomato Rice with Rose Chicken or Mutton and Rassam (by jugs on table).... beyond 1pm the Tomato Rice will be all gone... in Little India... either Queen or King Street.. Ferry area... noni factor 4/5..

3) 5pm - 9pm Nasi Kandar Air Itam at the Air Itam flats.. very fresh curries but i can't remember if you need to turn left at the 2nd or 3rd traffic light on the Air Itam main road.. although... you can ask people to show the road to Paya Terubong from the 2nd or 3rd traffic light... noni factor 3 / 5.

4) 6pm - 6am Chowrosta Market Nasi Kandar, middle shophouse (light blue interior with booth sittings) opposite unloading area next to ice shop.... fav combo... Chicken or Fish Curry with Liver Black Sauce (banjir) and Ladies Fingers x 2 helpings ... noni factor 5/5... the market is eeerr.. funky... heheheheh... but you can always take away...

5) 8pm - 12mn Bayan Lepas Nasi Dalca... Kenduri style rice with Rose Chicken etc... turn left at the airport and stop on the left side after first traffic light.... should be a queue.. x 2 helpings... noni factor 4/5... ie all Curry / Gravy must be flooded (banjir)

6) Kayu Nasi Kandar has some merit but I've only had it once (the rest above are 2-3 times per week per restaurant) heh!... in Bayan Baru although they may have new rest. Opened in Penang Rd.... noni factor 1/5....

7) 10am - 6pm Mamak Mee Rebus / Goreng with/out squid.... Bangkok Lane facing Pulau Tikus road opposite Chinese medical shop

8) 12noon - 5pm Mee Rebus Air Itam..... near the roundabout to funicular...

All above are my must must have meals in Penang....

Contributed by KK & Kamarul

2004-07-28T12:54:00.000+08:00

Top 15 Excuses For Getting Caught Napping in the office

15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
14. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in the last time management
       course you sent me to."
13. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."
12. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new
       paradigm!"
11. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people."
10. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
9. "I was actually doing the 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the
     last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
8.   "I was doing a highly specific yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you
      discriminatory toward people who practice yoga?"
7.   "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest
      problem."
6.   "The coffee machine is broken...."
5.   "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
4.   "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
3.   "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
2.   "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up a contact lens without hands."
1.   "...Amin."

Contributed by Alena

2004-07-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

Words Women Use

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in "fine"

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "that's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Contributed by Raphael

2004-07-19T03:03:00.000+08:00

Crossing the Gender Line

Because of our social circumstances, male and female are really two cultures and their life experiences are utterly different - Kate Millet

It’s a day like any other when a seemingly normal woman walks into our office, sits in a chair, and says something like, “I don’t know what I do to turn men off. Somehow I am pushing them away. Maybe I’m too demanding, or not demanding enough; I don’t know. Men are so confusing.”

And it could be that very same day in that very same chair that a seemingly normal man, unrelated to the first woman, sits down and says, “I don’t get women. I must be doing something wrong or I’d have at least a semblance of a relationship with one of them. Women are so confusing.”

We’ve seen it time and again. Each gender trying to make contact with the other side but becoming dazed and confused in the process. Like an animal which has come too close to a hot-wired electric fence, we’ve seen both men and women jump hack and retreat from the opposite sex because they didn’t want to risk the potential pain of misunderstanding or rejection. So they keep their distance.

The barrier between the sexes is built early on in life by our fear for being teased for having a “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” Remember those days? Some researchers can’t seem to forget. A classic study of children’s friendships has found that three-year-olds say about half their friends are of the opposite sex; for five-year-olds, it’s about twenty percent, and by age seven almost no boys or girls say they have a best friend of the opposite sex. These separate social universes re-intersect only as the adolescent years approach. Is it any wonder that male-female relationships are confusing?

This chapter is dedicated to helping you—whether male or female—take some of the mystery out of relating to the opposite sex. We don’t guarantee to solve the age-old gender puzzle in just a few pages, but we do intend to give you some practical insights for equipping you in your trek across the gender line. We’ll help you explore just how different the sexes are, not only in their psychology but in their biology as well, and we will expose the “fundamental cross-gender relational error,” an error that will trip you up every time. We then take turns at revealing in detail what women need to know about men and what men need to know about women. Used correctly, you can consider this information your key to crossing the border. Before closing this chapter we do our best to answer the age ol’ question of whether or not men and women can be “just friends,” free from romantic entanglements and sexual snares.

But let’s now begin at the beginning. We start with a straightforward fact: When men and women get together there are, in effect, two worlds—his and hers. The question this raises, however, is what’s the difference?

A World of Difference
Have you ever wondered why a man can seemingly read a map blindfolded but can’t find his own socks? The reason may be found in his genetic makeup. Research is discovering that men and women actually perceive reality differently. In one university experiment, students were blindfolded while an experimenter who served as a guide walked them through a complex maze of tunnels that run beneath campus buildings. After traversing this maze, women were asked to locate a familiar college building. Nearly every woman in the experiment was uncertain and unable to locate it. Men, on the other hand, had relatively little trouble with the task. In spite of all the subterranean twists and turns, men tended to retain a firm sense of direction and with a kind of internal compass were far more likely to identify the location of the building—even after walking through the maze blindfolded. Chalk one up for the male species.

But before you put all your money on men, consider another university experiment. In this one, students were asked to wait in a small room with a cluttered desk while the experimenter “got something ready.” The students thought they were simply waiting for the experiment to begin, but this actually was the experiment. After two minutes, the student was asked to describe in detail the waiting room from memory. Men, it turns out, didn’t do well on the test, and were able to remember very little. Most men were barely able to describe much of the room in clear and accurate detail. They often missed major objects located on a desk right in front of them. Women, on the other hand, could go on and on with precise descriptions of the rooms contents. In fact, women proved seventy percent better than men at recalling complex patterns formed by apparently random and unconnected items. One point for the women’s side; but who’s keeping score? (Actually, the men are probably keeping score, but we’ll get to that later.)

In these experiments and dozens of others like them, men and women consistently perform at different levels—sometimes men outperform women and sometimes vice versa. Which is all to say that scientists are suddenly fast at work trying to account for the differences, and what they’re finding may surprise you.

Why are researchers just now exploring the differences between men and women? The reason can be traced to the 1970’s when the feminist revolution nearly prohibited talk of inborn differences in the behaviour of males and females. Pointing out distinctions between the sexes was simply off-limits if you were a respectable researcher wanting to keep your job. Men dominated fields like architecture and engineering, it was argued, because of social, not hormonal, pressures. Women did the vast majority of society’s child rearing because few other options were available to them. Once sexism was abolished, so the argument ran, the world would become perfectly equitable. But as hard as we tried to squelch our differences, the evidence for innate gender difference began to mount, and admitting the differences between men and women has now become unavoidable. What’s more, the differences are not exclusively relegated to how you were raised as a child and society’s traditional stereotyping. The differences, research is discovering, may lay much deeper.

Scientists have not ignored the ol’ nature-nurture debate all together, but they have come to accept that a few fundamental differences between men and women are apparently biological. It turns out that men s and women’s brains, for example, are not only different, but the way we use out brains differs too. Women have larger connections and subsequently more frequent “crosstalk” between their brains’ left and right hemispheres. This accounts for women’s seeming ability to have better verbal skills and relational intuition than men. Men, on the other hand, have greater brain hemisphere separation, which enhances abstract reasoning and visual-spatial intelligence. Poet and author Robert Bly describes women’s brains as having a “superhighway” of connection while men have a “little crookedy country road.”

Big deal, you may be thinking, men can rotate three-dimensional objects in their head and women are better at reading emotions of people in photographs. How’s that affect my relationships with the opposite sex? Fair enough. Here’s our answer: If you evaluate the opposite gender’s behavior according to your own standards, never considering significant social and biological differences, you will miss out on a meaningful connection because you were compelled to make that person more like you. That’s what we call the fundamental cross-gender relational error: assuming that misunderstandings between the sexes have only to do with cross-purposes and not psychological and biological crossed wiring.

Okay, I understand the problem, you are saying to yourself, but what’s the solution? That depends on whether you are a woman or a man; either way, there are a few things you need to know.

What Women Need To Know About Men
If you are a woman reading this hook, I (Leslie) want to reveal a few facts that can help you make healthy connections with the men in your life. Not that I have the answer on how we women can relate every man. The male-female connection is too mystical for such claims. But I do have a few insights that have proven helpful to me many other women. They have to do with knowing how men are different from us. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but generally speaking, here are a few of the important distinctions— the ones that can make or break your ability to cross the gender borderline.

Men are not as in touch with their emotions as we are.
The first problem women run into when they attempt to explore men s emotional needs is that men don’t want women to explore their emotional needs. Let’s face it women, relative to us, men should come equipped with an emotional thesaurus. I’m not saying they don’t feel things deeply, but men certainly don’t express their emotions as clearly or as readily as we do. And who can blame them; they were raised that way. Parents, a recent study found, discuss emotions (with the exception of anger) more with their daughters than with their sons. As adults, men naturally tend to have a smaller feeling vocabulary and stuff their emotions. The point? We can’t expect men to identify our emotions or their own as quickly as we do.

Men are more independent than we are.
Here’s a lesson from “Male Development 101”: Very early on, males define themselves in relation to their mothers by being different and separate. Their impulse is to go away and assert their masculinity. Men need to wriggle free, to do male bonding, to place a great deal of emphasis on work (or golf, for that matter) as an escape from being smothered. But it’s not so much being smothered by the women in their lives as iris being smothered by their own feelings of dependency. Men need space to be men. And the more fragile a man’s sense of self, the stronger the impulse is to flee. So don’t expect men to glom on to you and tell you how much they need you. Instead, take comfort in the fact that the men in your life do need you, but most of the time they are trying to deny how much they need you because it poses so many threats to their sense of masculinity.

Men are more abstract than we are.
While you and I are more likely to talk about our fears, feelings, and experiences, men are more likely to talk about ideas, concepts, and theories. Men want to tell you what they know. They use conversation to discover factual information the same way an anthropologist uses a pick and hammer to unearth an artifact. Men gather facts, debate opinions, and solve problems through reasoned conversation. Sociologist Deborah Tannen calls this abstract style of man-speak “Report Talk.” It’s well established, so we can’t expect men to be too enthusiastic about conversation that serves as a means with no end. We can certainly talk about our fears, feelings and experiences to the men in our lives, but we can’t expect them to listen with the same vigilance we’ve grown to expect from our girlfriends.

What Men Need To Know About Women
Now that Leslie has had a say, allow me to turn the tables. Just as there are important insights for women to gain in understanding men, so can you, as a male reader, discover a few tips that will make relating to the women in your life a bit easier. “Every woman is a science,” John Donne. And if we take the time to carefully study women’s needs and how they differ from us, we’ll discover some fairly universal principles. I’ll echo the same qualifier as Leslie, however: There are always exceptions to the rule, but here are some fundamental ways in which women are different from men.

Women are not as independent as we are.
Let’s face it: we love the mystique of the rugged “Marlboro Man” image. Sure, it’s cliché, but we can’t get over this tough-minded, lone cowboy who reports to nobody as he freely rides the range. Women, on the other hand, couldn’t give a can of beans about protecting their autonomy. They prize what Harvard’s Carol Gilligan calls “a web of connectedness. Just as we are threatened by a challenge to our independence, so are women threatened by a rupture in their relationships. So don’t expect women to fully understand and accept your “need for space.” Don’t expect them to romanticize your independence. Instead, do yourself and your relationships with women a favour—bite the bullet and let them know you value the relationship even when you need to ride the range.

Women focus on the here-and-now more than we do.
Someone defined the future as a place where men spend most of their time. You and I both know that’s not exactly true. But it becomes more true in comparison to women. While we are scheming plans and solving problems for a better tomorrow, most women are asking, “What’s going on right now and how do I (and others) feel about it?” Women focus on current feelings and experiences because these build emotional bonds of connection between them. So while we men are more interested in the “report” of what has happened and where we are going, women are more interested on building “rapport” right now. The bottom line is that if you want to get down to the task of solving problems for the future with the women in your life, you must first take the time to explore their feelings about the present.

Women are not as competitive as we are.
As little kids growing up, boys play games in large groups, with an emphasis on winning. Competition is the name of this male-gender game. Little girls, on the other hand, play together in small, intimate groups, with an emphasis on minimizing hostility and maximizing cooperation. The same emphasis follows both genders into adulthood. As men, we still want to prove our point, keep score, and win the debate in conversation, while women are more likely to sacrifice superiority as the price for keeping peace. It’s not that one mode is necessarily better than the other; they both have their strengths and weaknesses. But if we want to build a healthy relationship with the women in our lives, we must honour their cooperative spirit and take care not to step on their toes.

Making a cross-gender relationship work does not depend solely on recognizing our differences. It’s a matter of appreciating those differences as well. Women, for example, can improve their relationships with men when they value the more masculine traits of emotional constraint, independence, and analytical reasoning. And men can improve their relationships with women when they esteem the more feminine qualities of interpersonal dependence, present-centeredness, and cooperation.

We’ve known some people who clearly recognize gender differences but then mistakenly try to eliminate them. It’s a futile exercise. Gender differences are not eased by creating symmetry—by having men and women thinking, feeling, and doing everything alike. The fact is that men and women are different. And people who openly acknowledge their differences and appreciate them improve their chances for a successful relationship.

Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?
We had just stepped off the platform of a college auditorium in Illinois where we were speaking on gender differences. Lingering around us was a small crowd of students who had a few comments or questions. That’s when a young, forthright man came hounding up to us and blurted out a question: “Is it possible for men and women to be friends without being romantic.

The auditorium fell suddenly silent. Even students who were just about out the door turned around to wait for our answer. We mumbled a spontaneous reply that was mostly based on out opinions and then turned the question back on our listeners. “What do you think?” we asked. For nearly another hour we sat on the edge of that platform and listened to a lively discussion while dozens of students gave their two cents’ worth.

That was several years ago, but we continue to hear this question so frequently that we would be remiss not to address it before closing this chapter. And since that occasion in Illinois, we have reviewed dozens of scientific studies and surveyed numbers of people about cross-gender friendships to discover whether these relationships can work or not. We’ve also listened in on countless discussions with men and women on the issue. And believe me, we’re now well acquainted with both sides of the argument.

For many people the idea of a man and a woman being friends is charming, but improbable. “It always leads to something else,” they argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic or soon fizzles out. Perhaps they are right. After all, in contrast to the countless love stories we see in the movies, male-female friendships are rarely acclaimed or depicted as an ongoing, freestanding bond. How many stories can you think of that richly portray or endorse the lasting, devoted friendship of a man and a woman as an end in itself? Even the acclaimed film, When Harry Met Sally, which got a lot of people talking about cross-gender friendships, ultimately proves to be another tale of romantic love. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan’s tumultuous and endearing friendship is only a stage in the development of the more celebrated attachment of falling in love.

On the other hand, there are those who ate seemingly surprised by the question and argue that of course male-female friendships are possible; why wouldn’t they be? These people’s persuasiveness almost make the romantic pull of such relationships seem unusual. They ignore it altogether. “One of my best friends is a woman,” the male proponent of this perspective insists. “And it’s never crossed my mind to consider her in a romantic way.” Well, that takes care of that, I think. “My friendships with men are far less complex than my relationships with women,” a female with this position might say. “We can play sports and just have fun.”

In our informal survey of people who are “just friends” with someone of the opposite sex, we heard a number of positive remarks. Over I over, men spoke about how a woman’s friendship provided them with a kind of nurturance not generally available in their relationships with men. They said things like, “I don’t have to play the macho game with women. I can show my weaknesses to a woman friend and she’ll still accept me.”When we asked women about their friendships with men. we heard comments like “He is a good sounding board for me to get the male perspective, the kind I can’t get from my women friends.”

Interestingly, women do not report the same level of intimacy as do with their cross-gender friendships. Even women who count among their close friends feel harriers between them. Women will say things like, “I have fun with men, and they can even be supportive and helpful about some things, but it’s just not the same. If I try to talk to my male friends the same way I talk to my female friends, I’m always disappointed.” At first glance the payoff for men seems to be bigger than the payoff for women in cross-gender friendships. But that’s not necessarily true. Women report great enjoyment from the diversity their friendships with men bring to their lives.

So does all this mean the answer to the question about men and women being friends is yes? Few relationships issues are that plain and simple. The real answer is “it depends.” So, you say, let’s cut to the chase and get to the bottom line: What do these relationships depend upon? They depend upon how much each person in the relationship is willing to stretch and grow. These friendships, you see, require both men and women to call upon parts of themselves that are usually less accessible when relating to their typical same-sex friends. For a man, a woman friend allows him to express his more emotional side, to experience his vulnerability, to treat himself and his friend more tenderly than is permissible with male friends. What is typically missing for him in this cross-gender relationship, however, is the kind of rough camaraderie he can have with another man. For a woman, friendship with a man helps her express her independent, more reasoned, and tougher side—the harder edge that’s kept under wraps in relationships with women. The down side for her is the relative absence of emotional reciprocity and intensity she normally shares with a female friend.

So, okay, twist our arms for a yes or no answer to this question and the answer will be yes. But we will quickly qualify it. Men and women can enjoy friendship together, but not at the same level they do with friends of the same sex. The next chapter, however, will reveal that friendships within our own gender provide tough competition.

For Reflection
Consider your cross-gender relationships. What aspects of these relationships with the opposite sex (excluding romantic relationships) seem to be easier than relationships with the same sex? What are the biggest hurdles you encounter in relating with the opposite sex?

When you were growing up as a kid, what social activities or games do you think influenced your gender roles? Looking back on it, do you put more stock in the way your environment shaped you or the way your biology programmed you?

This chapter notes several things men and women should know about the opposite gender. What differences could you add either to the list for women to know or for men to know?

Have you noticed how women use their conversation to build rapport” while men use conversation to give or get the “report”? What examples of this disparity can you remember from your own experience?

The major point of this chapter is that we doom our relationships with the opposite sex when we try to change them into being more like us. If this is so, what can you do to accept and even appreciate the different qualities of the other gender?

Written By Drs Les & Leslie
Contributed by Farina
Re-edited by Johan

2004-07-17T14:06:00.000+08:00

Song: Baby, Come To Me
Artist: James Ingram & Patti Austin

Thinkin' back in time
When love was only in my mind
I realize..
Ain't no second chance
You got to hold on to romance
Don't let it slide

There's a special kind of magic in the air
When you find another heart that needs to share

Chorus:
Baby, come to me
Let me put my arms around you
This was meant to be
And i'm oh so glad i found you
Need you everyday
Got to have your love around me
Baby always stay'
Cause i can't go back to livin' without you

Spendin' every dime
To keep you talkin' on the line
That's how it was
And all those walks together
Out in any kind of weather
Just because

There's a brand new way of looking at your life
When you know that love is standing by your side

The night can be cold
There's a chill to every evening when you're all alone
Don't talk anymore'
Cause you know that I'll be here to keep you warm

Chorus:
Baby, come to me
Let me put my arms around you
This was meant to be
And i'm oh so glad i found you
Need you everyday
Got to have your love around me
Baby always stay'
Cause i can't go back to livin' without you

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-07-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

Song: If You're Gone
Artist: Matchbox Twenty

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong

I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
but now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move

If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem i'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move

If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-07-17T03:17:00.000+08:00

Song: My Baby You
Artist: Mark Anthony

As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies.

You're the simplest love I've known
and the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone.

Chorus:
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
and 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why.
Baby you,
there's no more just getting by.
You're the reason I feel so alive.

Though these words I say are true
they still fail to capture you
as mere words can only do.

How do I explain that smile
and how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground.

Chorus:
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
and 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why.
Baby you,
there's no more just getting by.
You're the reason I feel so alive.

I will soothe you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call.
You're my greatest love of all.

Chorus:
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
and 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why.
Baby you,
there's no more just getting by.
You're the reason I feel so alive.

Arianna I feel so alive

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-07-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

Song: Missing You
Artist: Case

Standing here looking out my window
My nights are long and my days are cold
Cause I don't have you
How can I be so damn demanding?
I know you said that it's over now
But I can't let go

Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you

Like a cold Summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing youI'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you

Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me
My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me
Cause you fade away
Maybe I'm just hallucinating
Cause my loneliness got the best of me
And my heart's so weak

Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you

Like a cold Summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you
I'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you

The lyrics are © copyright their respective owners.

2004-06-28T17:19:00.000+08:00

A Soulmate is...

A soulmate is someone who can practically read your mind.

A soulmate is someone who is an incredible listener.

A soulmate is someone who has eyes that can see deep into your soul.

A soulmate is someone who's not afraid of commitment.

A soulmate is someone who gets into deep conversations.

A soulmate is someone understands you like no one else does.

A soulmate is someone shares his innermost secrets with you.

A soulmate is someone who writes romantic poetry for you.

A soulmate is someone who has a knack for finishing your sentences.

A soulmate is someone who makes you think about things you never would otherwise.

A soulmate is someone who shares your dreams, values and views of the world.

A soulmate is someone who pushes you to achieve your dreams beyond theirs.

A soulmate is someone like fine sand between stones, making you feel complete.

A soulmate is someone you think of first in your most difficult time of need.

A soulmate is someone who will love you forever & ever.. Unconditionally..

Contributed by Iana, Re-edited by Johan Nasir, Dedicated to my Soulmate..

2004-06-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Dos

Point Two! “If you only know how to safely drive slow, it makes you an unskilled and incomplete driver”. Let me ask you this. Who makes a safer better driver? Person A, who knows and understands how to drive fast and slow or Person B, who drives slow most of the time and can only drive fast in life and death situations. What I’m getting at is about Car Control. The reason why most accidents happens is that a majority of drivers out there, despite the years of driving, especially the conservative type persons from either sex, think driving is a risky and dangerous activity full of unpredictable possibilities of bad things happening to them. And so, we get drivers who use cars to get from Point A to Point B, commuters and do not take initiative to be a better driver. As long as they get to get to where they’re going, screw whoever we piss off along the way. I bet some men reading this are saying, “Yeah, Women Drivers!!” Well I see we men do it too. So don’t think you are being spared here.

“A person, who really knows how to drive, responsibly takes initiative to learn to control the car and not let the car control the driver”. This is where experience should logically kick in and make people driving for years become the best drivers around but unfortunately not. The reason? Habit! Poor driving habits that have been cultivated over the years. They retain the lessons that were thought to them when they started driving. This morning, I had to wait patiently 40 something year old driving a Volvo at 40 – 50 km/h on a 80 km/h road on the speed lane, ignoring high beams, horns, other indicators to get him to move. That is pure inconsideration. We don’t care if you drive a flashy Benz or a Kancil, it is a public road. When someone gives you obvious signals, MOVE! You might want to take your own leisurely cruise to work but some people don’t. Do it on an open road where you don’t get in the way of others driving at the right speed limit.

Back to car control. This is about being one with the car, about letting your natural senses extend beyond your body merging with the car. I’ll start with the seating position. Most drivers get this wrong and I have to admit, it is more commonplace with the lady drivers. Why? Most female drivers fear driving or cannot relate to cars the way men are more mechanically in tuned to do. Cars are not some mechanical beast that you have to constantly tame. It should be like your best girlfriend. You can do things together. It can be fun. I do know a few very skilled lady drivers compared to some men I know. Sorry, no sexist remarks/insults intended, it’s just a fact. Look around and you will notice this. Ladies, this is a dangerous habit to cultivate. Having your seat too close to the steering wheel does not allow you to have right space to manoeuvre in emergency situations. You should not be hugging the steering wheel. Yes we realise that because of your maternal instincts, you have to hang on to dear life to that steering wheel but you indirectly become a hazard to yourself and others when you do this. The guys on the other hand, well some do the former too, but most tend to sit too far from the steering wheel. Yeah, because you think you are sitting in a flat racing car and need to be in a sleeping position to drive real cool. Try doing a full steering turn real fast when your arms can’t even reach the farthest point on the steering.

The correct seating position is upright, extend your arms over the top of the steering and the middle of your palms should be touching the top and furthermost point of the steering wheel. Not your fingers dudes, not your elbows ladies. Your shoulders should still be touching the back of the seat still without stretching too much too. This allows you to manoeuvre the steering without obstruction. Adjust your mirrors so that you don’t have any blind spots. If there are, get additional or bigger mirrors like you find at them car accessories shops.

Next, senses! I’ll get to common sense later but for now I’m talking about sight, sound, feel, and feedback. Sight, use your eyes to focus on cars around you and way ahead of you, not just the car in front of you. Anticipate what the people 3 to 5 cars ahead and around you will do so you can react accordingly without it surprising you. Place them in a mental picture of where they are and where they are going to be in the next few seconds. Plan where you are going to place your car on the road without getting in the way of others and not having others get in your way. This way, you avoid getting stuck behind people who kill your mood. It’s like visualising what you are going to do in short future and being ready for it when you are at that point. It also helps when cornering better too. Focus on the farthest point of the end of the corner and let your body senses tell you if you are cornering at the right speed or not. Feel the feedback from the steering wheel and car. Let it communicate to you. You fear what you do not know. If you understood things about driving, there’s nothing to be scared about.

In Part Tres: Sound and Gear Shifting

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

2004-06-23T17:33:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Tres

Sound relates to the engine speed and gearing. Some of you more careful drivers probably never revved the car about the 3,000 rpm limit. It’s the meter that’s beside your speedometer on the dashboard. Look, most cars are designed to take much higher engine strain then above the meter limit at 8,000-9,000 rpm. Formula One cars go above 18,000 rpm without damage. So it is safe for your car and engine to be accelerated to about 3,500-4,000 rpm on a normal everyday basis before shifting gears upwards and accelerate again. This is basic, low speeds - low gears, higher speeds - higher gears. Logically this might sound correct but most people are over-gearing at the speed they are going. Example, being in 4th gear when only at speed 70 km/h. That’s just wrong. You burn more petrol that way too and it becomes costly.

Proper gearing also helps improve your driving in the rain. Driving in a lower gears in the rain gives you better road traction, allowing you to travel as normal and take corners safer. You will experience the car grips the road just like in the dry. Good rain tyres will also help. Most of the techniques mentioned in here can be applied to wet driving conditions, especially on the braking less and cornering techniques. In heavier rain situations with low visibility, do not use hazard lights and brake around excessively unless necessary, as you will cause panic to other drivers behind you. It is very distracting for drivers to see multiple blinking lights on an already wet smeared windscreen multiplied by reflections off rain drops, when we are trying to concentrate on other possible dangers. Use your normal lights and control your vehicle speed with lower gears. Use the lines on the road as your guide to get you going in the correct lanes, speed and direction, instead of driving at ridiculously dangerously slow speeds.

I drive to work on a daily basis from near Taman Tun towards Kuala Lumpur through Jalan Damansara, Pusat Bandar, Semantan, Jalan Duta, Parlimen and Raja Laut. A drive which takes 10 to 15 minutes in a no traffic situation and can take up more than 1 hour in the mornings if I were to follow the crowd. That’s an extra 45 minutes at least of fuel burnt just waiting for others to move along. By following the flow method, I can get to work in less than 30 minutes and I don’t get to drive faster than 90 km/h average. It is possible to maintain an average speed of around 110 km/h consistently the entire way safely on a light traffic day which leaves me wondering the ridiculous speed limits set along the way.

I can’t help but notice the countless annoying habits that drivers practice along the way. For example, going up the overpass and hill to Jalan Johar around Pusat Bandar Damansara towards Jalan Semantan. First of all, you should be downshifting into third and second gear as you take the corner to go up the hill without braking. If you are driving an automatic, floor the accelerator pedal all the way as you go uphill to down shift your gears to “2” before shifting up back to “D” when it sounds right. No, it does not harm your car. The reason why traffic gets down to a crawl is because you are not in the right gears and do not have enough power to accelerate uphill. There is no reason for this jam! You slow down, everyone behind you has to slow down, adjust their gears and that’s when the jam starts. When you get uphill and turn towards the right, you should be able to take that corner without slowing down too. Your car is not going to tip over, skid and fall of the cliff when you are just going at 40 km/h, so stop braking. I have taken that corner at speeds above 100 km/h safely without any problems whatsoever.

Listen to your car, optimally your engine revs should be between 2,500 - 4,000 rpm. If you hit below 2,000 rpm, it’s time to down shift that gear. Over time, you can accustom your ears to predictably shift gears just by listening to the sound of the car engine correctly without even looking at the Rev Meter. The other thing about gears is Engine Compression Braking. When going downhill and into corners, use the lower gears as you about to enter the corner and slowly-slowly lift off the clutch. You will feel the engine rev up a bit, car slow down a bit and your car having more grip and easier to steer around the corner. Again, use the feedback you get from the steering wheel. When it comes to cornering lines, use the entire road, including spill over areas only when necessary (only recommended if you are an advance driver). Observe how the Formula 1 drivers take the corners on race tracks; notice how they do not follow the contour of the road or following a specific lane drawn on the road. They follow the straightest path around the corner, thereby, minimising roll, tyre wear, the necessity to brake or slow down to maintain momentum and the gravitational force to carry them around the corner safely despite the speed.

Similarly, a road car responds the same way. For instance, taking a left corner bend, one should hit 3 location points on the road through the corner, Entry, Middle and Exit target points. Downshift one gear down, do the engine compression braking and brake slightly (optional) so you enter the corner at the correct entry speed, position the car on the right most area of the road at the Entry point. Maintain your eye focus on the furthest point of the exit of the corner at all times. Follow a path where you cut the inner left most point of the road when you are in the Middle Point of the corner and as you exit, accelerate away (you might want to upshift the gear at the right RPM) to hit the Exit Point located towards the most area again. Remember, Slow In-Fast Out and not Fast In-No Out. This even applies when taking roundabouts. Position your venicle at the tangent of the corner and move straight into the roundabout tangent direction, not towards the roundabout and then turning the steering to figure out which lane was lane best.

Once you master this, you should be able to take corners correctly, safer, faster and smoother. This is where feel comes in. If you ever decide or have to drive really fast, you will be in full control of the car, feeling how it turns, grips, accelerate, and decelerate under engine compression braking, manoeuvre through tight spaces and difficult traffic with ease. It doesn’t feel like you are sliding downhill uncontrollably too and having to brake unnecessarily too. Braking helps slow the car down but you need to be in the right gear in the first place. No it does not spoil your car unless you drive like a mad crazy racing driver everyday on public roads. This is how professional and racing drivers do it and what they don’t teach you at Driving Schools. You can enrol in an Advanced Driving Course to learn all this and defensive driving as well.

In Part Cuatro: Acceleration, Planning & Problem Solving, Consideration

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

2004-06-20T10:35:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Cuatro

As mentioned earlier, your car can accelerate at higher levels. Ever got stuck behind a car at a traffic light or in a jam and just because the cars before you take their own sweet time to start moving along, they have left a huge gap between the cars in front of them, moving along slowly at 30 km/h. By the time it gets to your turn, the lights have changed again and you realised that so many, including others behind you, could have actually gotten past the lights if the ones in front exercised some common courtesy. The people who drive slow, (and by this I mean between 20%-40% below the speed limit or under accelerating), are the most common cause of traffic jams. You can move along faster but you don’t. Just as uncomfortable you are being stuck there, doesn’t mean you should contribute to it by doing the same mistakes the ones before you are making. Accelerate away faster, minimise the gaps, be ready to move so that you do not inconvenience the others. Make their burden less. Keep the “flow” going.

It would be really nice if we could have that “Minority Report” style traffic flow system. Everyone starts moving at the same time as if all the cars are stationary on a moving conveyor belt. Among the common areas where this problem occurs include, the toll free slip road heading towards Taman Tun near Phileo Damansara, Jalan Sultan Ismail, Jalan P. Ramlee towards KLCC, Jalan Tun Razak near the Bulatan Pahang overpass/ Pekeliling Flats area and more. There’s nothing to look at or slow down for, move along. Some drivers use the roads everyday and yet they make the same mistakes daily. You know the nice traffic policeman is there and yet you still react to the traffic lights. You know the lane is closed daily at peak hours and yet try to switch lanes haphazardly to try your luck. You know there is the other way to go Pusat Bandar Damansara and yet you choose to inconsiderately cross over 4 lanes at the top of Jalan Johar during rush hour just to take that short cut. You know the path you plan to take, you know the lanes, the road opens up in front of you, pick a lane ahead of time and drive. Why are you slowing down when the road in front of you is growing from two lanes to three? It just doesn’t make any sense!

Jalan Damansara, the stretch between Section 17 and Eastin Hotel heading towards KL, where the speed limit is at 50 km/h at one point on a 3 lane highway, is another hot spot where slow moving drivers are abundant. On a clear day, it is possible to drive at 120 km/h with any car and not even come close to losing control of the vehicle if you are skilled enough to do it. (Author’s note: Do not attempt to do this unless you are professionally trained). The road is clear in front of you and yet you brake for nothing? It’s not a steep hill, your car is not going to tumble over, skid or become uncontrollable. The 2 right lanes are clear and yet they move slowly up the overpass. On the way in a few days ago, I noticed the Sprint LED board that read, “Pandulah Ikut Peraturan, Jangan Ikut Perasaan” and laughed myself silly in the car. If you did drive properly in the first place, we wouldn’t have to drive with negative emotions or break any laws.

Find the source of the problem and find a solution for it. To fault those who jump queue? Do you really blame them? Those who overtake you recklessly? Is there a reason? These are effects of some cause. Have you wondered why that driver did that, instead of sitting there cursing away when they can’t even hear you? Could it be because you were driving slow or ridiculously inconsiderately in the first place, that it annoyed and frustrated the living daylights of the person behind you so much that it totally killed of any happy mood for the day? You could have left them agitated because you failed to give way or be in the correct lane and consequentially forced their overwhelming Malaysia Boleh! driving skills to surface, leaving them no choice but break the law and annoy you back. For every cause, there will be a reaction. Unfortunately in driving, your actions, affects others behind and beside you.

In Part Cinco: Flow, Speed Matching and Merging Lanes

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

2004-06-20T09:04:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Cinco

The next thing is about Flow! Imagine a river stream flowing. Whenever it hits a rock or an obstacle, it has to change its path to continue flowing. Same with driving. The key to driving effectively under the least amount of stress is the combination of the “Look Ahead and Plan” method, gearing, the cornering technique and speed matching. There are times when I thoroughly enjoy the drive as it is a blissful challenge to overtake over 1000 or so cars on the way in to work. It’s not that I’m driving super fast or that my car is fast, I’m just driving logically consistently smarter without causing any additional trouble or congestion for myself and the others on the road. Sure you might hate me for disappearing out of your sight in traffic jam situations but whose fault is that really? I’m not breaking your flow because you are not flowing in the first place. As far as I am concern, I’m trying to get away from you because your driving is more dangerous to me. You are probably dreaming in your own world while driving and not fully concentrating on what is happening around you. If you were, you would be more courteous to other drivers behind and around you, unless you weren’t thought that etiquette when you were growing up. Do I need to knock some common sense into that head?

The deduction here is that most of them stuck in the jam like being stuck in the jam and don’t mind being late for work as they dread the routine office politics and piles of work waiting at their desk. They’d rather be entertained by the Hitz FM Morning Crew or Light’n’Easy, waste petrol and polute the environment further by being in the car longer, damage the clutch, gearbox and engine by inching along at 1st gear at speeds below 20 km/h. Well like some other drivers out there, we don’t like being stuck in traffic and believe it or not, think that your driving is more dangerous/annoying/frustrating/temper initiating/mood spoiling and down right rude, to our journey. We do not have the luxury to drive leisurely to work and breeze in to the office and give bad traffic as an excuse everyday. We do not also feel that it is justified to penalise our sleep time and wake up earlier just to compensate for the slow traffic crawls you cause. I really believe that there’s a conspiracy out there, some secret code that we faster drivers miss that say’s, “Ok everyone, today, let us all drive at 18km/h, even though we can drive faster, but lets not.” There was really no real valid reason for the jam today. No accidents, no car broken down, no road closures or diversions, just plain simple unacceptable slow driving. Even the Sprint LED traffic display board is to be blame for psychologically conditioning people’s mind to drive slowly. “Trafik Perlahan dari Jalan Dato Abu Bakar ke Jalan Semantan.” What happens? We start thinking it is slow traffic along these roads and end up believing that we all have to drive slow.

Keep your eyes and senses aware of your peripheral environment so that you don’t get in the way of other peoples flow. To put it simply, one could weave in and out of traffic without contributing to the bad traffic if your flow is good. I am not saying that one should drive fast and recklessly, you can, but do that at your own risk and when else nobody is around like on the race track, not on a public road where you could endanger others. What we are trying to achieve here is improved, responsible, understanding of driving skills and traffic flow so that it doesn’t cause a chain reaction resulting in a jam or accidents for everyone else. This is where speed matching comes in. When switching lanes, position yourself to go into the intended lane by, moving (either accelerating or slowing) into the gaps by going faster than the cars meant to be behind you and slightly slower or equal speed to the car in front of you. Do not brake suddenly while you are still in the current lane as you will get in the way of the cars behind you and break their flow. Worst still that person could be caught unawares and slam on the brakes and ram you from behind.

In Part Seis: Queue Jumping, Flow, Driving Attitude, Road Hogs, Malaysian Roads, Orange Poles

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

2004-06-20T09:03:00.000+08:00

Guide to Malaysian Drivers
Part Seis - Finale

Poor speed matching and merging lane practice is the main and most common reason for the jam we face. I see it daily. People cutting into lanes at the wrong speeds or wrong entry positions, forcing the people in the destination lane to brake and the person behind them to brake and so on. Then this starts a chain reaction of the stop and go jam because most of these drivers don’t know how to move or accelerate along quickly to dissipate the flow interruption. The jam begins. Most times, you do not have to brake if you are travelling at the near similar speeds. Lifting your feet on or off the accelerator to match the speed is sufficient. It’s like filling in the gaps seamlessly like how a zipper works. If you merge lanes when two cars are side by side or travelling too fast in relation to each other, it wouldn’t work now would it? Please use your indicator lights for the sake of other motorist behind you. You actions become more predictable for their mind mapping and flow.

Similarly, this applies to merging lanes when entering highways, which repeatedly happens along the Federal Highway daily. You should not be slowing down when going into the highway lanes. You should be accelerating and matching the speed of incoming cars and then merge into the traffic. When you slowly enter the lanes, it causes a break in the flow of incoming traffic and subsequently causes a potential problem. This is especially true at the area towards the entrance of the Kerinchi Link highway on the Federal Highway, which coincidentally, is also a victim of poor road planning with no spill over lanes. Indirectly, you become the rock in the path of the river. What needs to be understood is that it is dangerous for the faster moving drivers as we have to avoid a slower vehicle when you break the flow. We are driving around to avoid and accelerating away from you, hence we pose no danger to you. This even applies to the normal roads and this is where the policy of driving slowly equates to safety is in direct conflict with logic. Driving slowly or in a relaxed state of mind, results in the reduction of mental alertness and complacency in skill upgrading towards being a more capable driver.

The reason why this is a common problem in practice is the ignorance of the surroundings behind them. Again not being prejudicial, it is more common with women drivers and some men drivers too regardless of age. The justification is simple. I previously wrote about the perception that cars are mechanical monsters to some drivers and therefore, concentrating on what happens in front of them matters more, trying not to crash into others or injure their own self, thereby completely ignoring their surroundings of flashing high beams and honking from drivers behind them. If you see a line of cars tailing closely to one another on the speed lane, then you know the first car in the line is one of these drivers. The mirrors are simply beauty accessories. Those who know how to treat the car as a friend, on the other hand, have a better chance of being more alert of the drivers behind them and can be more responsive to courtesy.

If it’s a two lane road and you are travelling side by side with another car at slow speeds with obvious empty road space in front, you and the other driver have effectively blocked of any safe path for anyone to get pass. If you don’t intend to drive fast, overtake or stay behind the car going at the same speed as you and keep the right lane clear for others to pass you. Again, another inconsiderate driving habit of some Off-Road / Sports Utility Vehicles (SUV) owners like Pajero’s, Unser’s, Rexton’s and the refrigerator-on-wheels looking S600 Mercedes Benz. It is such a waste of money to spend it on a beautiful car that is not driven to its intended potential. This applies to Kancil and in some instances, Ferrari owners as well. Your car may be capable of being modified to go faster but be realistic, you are not driving fast. Then again, I’ve seen a few Kancil’s capable of going faster then some of those supped-up Protons cars.

We know you got a lot of money to blow on your cars but you do not own the road to hog it and drive slowly on the right lane. If you are going to practice the flow, we don’t mind your presence on the right lane, but if you’re not, then let us pass. It’s just common sense, if someone is tailgating you and you don’t like it, move. The only reason we are tailgating you is because we are annoyed at you for hogging the road and you seem oblivious to courteous signals we gave earlier. So, rather than overtake you on the left because that’s just not right, we feel compelled to fear you to never ever drive on the right lane again because you don’t deserve to. It is just as comfortable to drive on the left lane. If you observe carefully, chances are BMW car owners have a higher tendency to drive much better, than Mercedes owners due to the culture it advertises and the mindset that embedded in its owners, as the Ultimate Driving Machine.

I can’t fault everything to the drivers of these vehicles as the way our Malaysian roads are designed also escapes common sense and logic sometimes. God knows how those road planning and contractor guys actually do their work. Similar praise goes to those who dig up and resurface portions of the roads after they have beautifully restored and fully resurfaced the road a few weeks before. Case in point, Jalan Maarof, Bangsar. Don’t even get me started on the pot holes. Those Orange Poles are also a menace. Three areas which fall victim include Jalan Mahameru leading towards PWTC, on Jalan Duta heading towards Jalan Parlimen/Mahameru/KL Sentral split off, and the Section 16 underpass heading towards Kiara. These poles actually aggravate the traffic congestion conditions that reduce. For example the spill over road on Jalan Mahameru previously served as an alternative lane during peak hours allowing for vehicles to move in from 4 lanes to 3 in parallel but now, the Orange Poles have made it worst by funnelling these 4 lanes to 2 causing even bigger bottle neck and jam. Similarly, the 2 other areas mentioned also face the same problem as this is where spill over road space, which could be useful during peak hours, causes drivers to jump queue as they have to merge with the existing lanes. These poles break the flow and cause bottlenecks where it didn’t exist as bad as before.

There’s just so much more I could write about and I know some of you out there can probably add more examples of the idiotic things some drivers do. Sure I’m pissing some of you off. Tit for tat. Put yourselves in my shoes. I’m just giving my two cents worth of what I perceive is a growing problem amongst the regressive mentality and mindset that is rapidly deteriorating the quality and safety of other drivers. The views expressed may be contrary to popular believe, but is a worthwhile alternative that one should not ignore, especially policy makers and the general driving public. What is meant to happen eventually is that you continuously cultivate a habit of experimenting of how to improve as a driver, pushing the boundaries towards understanding your cars limitations and your own driving skills. It makes you a safe active driver and not just a passive commuter.

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Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility and accepts no liability for any harm or injury that may arise from practicing any of the content mentioned in this article. Speed can kill if you are not skilled to handle it. Road racing is a dangerous activity. Always observe the law and apply common sense and consideration when driving.

Too Lost In You

2004-06-19T04:42:00.000+08:00

Artist: Sugababes
Title: Too Lost In You

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

Separated

2004-06-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

Artists: Usher

Song: Separated

Oh no, no, no, no

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby... you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby.... you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you
and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated...

**I'm sorry we didn't make it..

So Into You

2004-06-08T15:26:00.000+08:00

Song: So Into You

Performed by: Tamia

With every passing moment
Thoughts of you run through my head
Everytime that I'm near you
I realize that your heaven sent

I think your truly something special
Just what my dreams are really made of
Let's stay together you and me boy
There's no one like you around
Oh Baby

I really like what you've done to me
I can't really explain it, I'm so into you

[2x]

It could be the way that you hold me
It could be the things that you say
Oh I'm not to sure what is is boy
But I know I like feeling this way

I think your truly something special
Just what my dreams are really made of
Let's stay together you and me boy
There's no one like you around
Oh Baby

I really like what you've done to me
I can't really explain it, I'm so into you
[2x]

Oh I really like
What I feel when I'm with you
Your a dream come true
Don't you ever leave my side
Cuz it feels so right

I really like what you've done to me
I can't really explain it, I'm so into you

Fragile

2004-06-08T15:03:00.000+08:00

Song: Fragile

Performed by: Rick Price
Written by: Rick Price, Heather Field

The first time I saw her
She was looking just like an angel in the night
I tried hard not to cause no suspicion, but
She saw the look in my eye, but I
Don't wanna hurt her
And I don't wanna see her cry, but I
Want to love her like a woman, but she's so

Fragile, so
Fragile, so
Fragile, fragile

Sophisticated, just like a lady
Sweet and innocent like a child
I wanna take her in my arms and hold her
And I just can't resist her smile, but
I wouldn't wanna hurt her, and I
Don't wanna see her cry, but I
Want to love her like a woman but she's so

Fragile, so
Fragile, so
Fragile, fragile

Everywhere I go, she's inside my head
So now tell me what I am gonna do
'Cause she's so

Fragile, so
Fragile, so
Fragile, fragile

2004-06-03T10:20:00.001+08:00

Got this from a friend. Thought it was inspirational.

"A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
he said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her
forever....and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he
cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough.

As she walked away, tears streaming down her
face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be
with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die..."

Jo :)

2004-04-09T18:05:00.000+08:00

Ahh.. it's the weekend.. so fast the week has passed. I wanted to fill up a whole posting on what i have observed daily on my way to the office and whenever i'm on the road but i shall leave that to another day as i don't wanna spoil my mood for tonight..

You see, being my friendly eligible self in the recent months.. i've been fortunate enough to have met and been introduced to a large number of people, socialising, networking, partying with friends, attending great high society functions, etc.. so naturally the principle of Moore's Law have applied to the number of recent acquaintences i have made. And so have the number of high potential, beautiful exquisite women that i've gotten to know. It's been exhausting, confusing and mind blowing but oh so pleasurable. So much so, i've been labelled a superslut in the process by my galpals as they were getting equally confused when i storied them. Hey, i'm a socialite.. i get to meet and know people. I do it for my businesses and theirs. It's necessary... Ok, that's a whole other detour.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, i've kinda gotten myself into a predicament tonight.. It's been a long week and i'm in the mood to let go and go wild tonight. So.. without realising it, i have mysteriously set myself up to be with 5 ladies tonight. Go figure??

It begins from dinner with a girl who i fell very very deeply for a long time ago but the relationship was never explored because of timing reasons. So even till today, there's "Still - by Brian McKnight" passionate magnetic attraction between us and it's just crazy. It's her b'day yesterday and well she's just sms lovemailed me into dj'ing for her tonight too.. right.. it gets better doesn't it. The there's Miss Velvet Friendster who has the most sultry eyes, who i wanna spend a little time to get to know better. I'm not that shallow and i'd rather get to know a person more intellectually than anything. The mental foreplay is orgasmic to me and hopefully her too. Well i casually suggested to Miss Velvet to meet up for dinner at the same place! But thankfully, due to her mysteriously elusive character, she hasn't confirmed so we'll probably end up meeting up in Passion. Phew..

Then there's Miss Johor. Now this one is interesting. We met under very hmm.. surprising conditions. She called me up out of the blue on skype and she had one helluva sexy voice. Next thing we know, we we chatting, sms'ing, webcamming, calling etc, etc.. Kinda exotic and upfront about herself and totally knows how to turn me on too. Did i mention that's she hot and slightly older than me too! Well she surprised me again by being in KL this weekend and naturally planned to meet up somewhere later.. how now brown cow? No escaping this one..

Ahh.. now comes to one on my closest galpals. This girl is the most amazing woman i know and she's was below 20 years when i noticed that. She still is till today after 5 years. We went to watch the Gareth Gates concert last night and we were laughing so hard.. i swear i don't know how i ended up there! my babe for life! lol.. but in all seriousness.. Guy Sebastian was GOOD! Went backstage and all.. She's joining me tonight and she wants to be my bish sidekick 2nite. Ok.. my "superslut" label came from her. She's the bish.. I'm da Sl.. (Clarification Note: Ok.. We are not like this way all the time. It's only for some harmless friendly fun on weekends with our friends!) She's a little like my twin sister, put us together and we wreck havoc in da clubs or wherever we go.. just like peas and carrots. So SMS'd to say she's joining me tonight for the crazy fun. Wow..

Then there's that girl by the bar last week.. Then one i wrote about last week.. hmm.. i wonder if i'll see her tonight. If i'll finally get to meet and talk to her. She's devilishly angelic! There's also my Penang Crazy girl.. whoa, this one's a sexychillypadi who's more of a threat to ladies than men. Hehehe.. but this 18 year old is just oozing of spunk! And a whole bunch of other gorgeous creatures who i'm sure i'll meet tonight.. Hmm.. I wonder who will be with me still through the night or if plans change all together into an crazy frenzy..

Can't wait.. more when i write my next text..

p.s: have a great weekend!!

Jo :)>

2004-04-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

hey ya..
Well this is my first posting.. it's all new to me and i should start it on a cheerful note..
Happy to say last weekend was another blast, exhausting but a blast nevertheless.. partying, dj'ing, sleeping, F1, eating great food, great friends..

Ended up talkin to a friend on Friday night, who happens to be an active blogger and has a completely bizarre alter ego on the web.. with an active fanbase who loves to condemn on what was written. I had to promise the confidentiality of the identity becoz of its ehemm.. contents. We were laughing so much, discussing on how the freedom of expression on the web is a wonderful thing and how narrow minded ppl can be for taking offense to another person's two cents worth.. I was being given the royal tour of other bloggers famous pages.. all becoz we discovered that the place that we usually hang out on weekends had WiFi!!

I was happy that another girl that i madlessly admired 4 years ago was there too.. funny, still felt that same magnetic attraction to her for some weird reason, even after all those years. It's that "what if" curiousity that has never been answered between us, an unexplored relationship due to circumstances that we were unable to change for us to find out if we could have been.. It was scary as i was listening to the words of Brian McKnight's song "Still" that day, thinking of her and she appeared at the club that night.. the exchanging glances, the way we talked, the way we felt so comfortable.. the night was young and it was going well..

Well.. little did i know that was about to change.. all in all it was a pleasant evening until bout 3am Saturday mornin and as i was in my world of music, a fresh breath of innocent beauty stepped into the room. She was dancing and from the DJ console, I couldn't take my eyes of her.. It was preety impossible to take a break and start a conversation with her as i would have liked but i was hoping that we made some eye contact.. some connection of some kind apart from the music i was playing and she was dancing to..

The whole time.. Friends kept coming up and i was curiously asking.. who she was and they said "Oh that's ...", "she's too young for you..", and i was like NO! I want to know her.. I have to! It was agonising.. less than 10 metres away among a sea of people and to me, she was the only one dancing in the room..

Detour: ok.. my closest galfriends (there's a lot of them) know that i'm a bit of a flirtyslutty kinda guy of late.. cuz i'm just as bad as them when it comes to having fun with the opposite sex.. haha.. but there's a good reason for that.. i've just got out of a long relationship and i felt, well why not have a little harmless fun.. and of recent months, i've had the pleasure of getting to know a lot of incredible and interesting women.. that have managed to capture my attention, numbed out in the past 6-7 years by a number of reason.. but since i'm keeping my options open for the moment, why settle right? do a little dance, make a little love, shake that thing,..

Back to the story: BUT!! This girl,.. wow! no make that WOW!! I was told that she's of a certain age and i was shocked! but still that instant attraction was there.. It was torture for me to continue mixing as i was losing focus b'cos of her presence in the room.. Eventually she went home and i didn't get the chance to talk to her..

Detour: The funny thing was, Saturday night at dinner with my galpals, i had found out some very embarrasing news about another girl who had caught my attention a few weeks earlier. The crazy thing was, i had a rather hopelessly romantic dream (one of those moments) about her and decided to reveal partially that i had that dreamt of us and how it made me feel on Friendster. Now here's the twist. She doesn't know me and she has a boyfriend. Being the flirt that i am, well, i decided to send that email anyways, thinking, well it's not a XXX note, it was a spontaneous romantic gesture and guess what! The boyfriend READ the message meant for her!! My conspiring galpal was consoling me while the others were like.. OMIGAWD!!.. LOL!!! Well i hope nothing bad comes out of it.. I just wanted her to know what i felt,.. If you never try, you never know.. if it's meant to be..

Back to the story: Well.. already feeling extremely stupid and embarassed from the revelation at dinner, i was in silly mood as we celebrated a friends birthday.. i meant, how much worst can it get?? The 3am girl came back again.. and it was like dejavu.. same situation, same feelings, same distraction, same agony.. again my luck was not there to let fate do it's magic.. or maybe it was.. i was happy that she came back again.. around 3am.. dancing, taunting, her fair skin, beautiful eyes, there was something intriguing about her eyes.. sweet innocent beauty..

Ahh.. the countless stories of love at first sight.. that fluttery butterfly feeling in the stomach.. that emotional high on happiness.. that silly smitten kitten grin on the face.. will it happen? what happens next? will i ever see her again.. It's Monday and i can't wait till Friday again.. will there be another, or will i stop my flirtyslutty ways just for her? Will this be another When Harry Met Sally?.. I dunno.. but i have a smile on my face.. and i wish you could see it too.. :)

Good night.. until the next text..

Jo :} <--- In a smittenkitten state

2004-04-02T08:14:00.000+08:00

This is a nice revolutionary way to start a whole new adventure on the virtual world. Who knows what may happen.. taking this leap of faith.. just jump away.. :)