Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I read with interest about the current page rankings battle comparison between Facebook and Friendster with a slight dissatisfaction about the facts quoted here or "Facebook has superceded Friendster in Malaysia ". Trackback: http://tinyurl.com/craj4t.
What most people tend to forget is..
a) Minority of users on Friendster demographic profile is the elitist or the educated urban yuppies. The actual bulk of the users are from all over Malaysia which are your low-middle income young generation across rural areas and outer cities. Hence Malay is their preferred choice, even in Indonesia. The more affluent demographics were smart enough to move over to Facebook a long time ago as early adopters, but we still represent a minority, even in Internet user base over the whole population.
b) Frienster's page structure (or lack of it) is designed to generate multiple impressions to maximise advertisement revenues. Just look at the message page navigation and flow. Count how many impressions it takes to read from message to message if you have more than 11 messages. This in a way generates the page views they claim contributes to their ranking.
c) The assumption based on increased iPhone users is completely irrelevant, delusional and misleading. The number of iPhone users in Malaysia and Singapore is extremely low. iPhone and Blackberry only has a 4% & 11% market share respectively globally. A marketing gimmick than fact. A highly insignificant proportion to Symbian's domination of over 60% worldwide via Nokia, Sony Ericsson and other devices. The upcoming Symbian Series60 version 5 release, as well as Google's Android platform along with new cheap accompanying phones will quash all hype that iPhone brags even with their Apple Cocoa based platform version 3 release soon.
What would have been more accurate to say is the insurgence of Web Enabled phones into the market capable of accessing social networking services in an always-on web runtime environment would lead to a competitive battle for screen space and users for multiple applications.
This battle would be won by Facebook as their user demographics would be able to afford data services over the more sophisticated mobile smart phones. The majority of the population in the Asian region will still depend on the web to access either Facebook or Friendster base on their social friendship demographics. In most cases, they will have and maintain both accounts.
Friendsters attempt to stage a comeback will only work by adopting a more user friendly approach to cater to low bandwidth internet speed users in this region with better page layout and functionality. A more in depth market research in terms of language preference and option to remain in English is a must. They would also benefit via existing collaborations through other Open Social partners and application developers to recapture their glory days.
Jo :)
What most people tend to forget is..
a) Minority of users on Friendster demographic profile is the elitist or the educated urban yuppies. The actual bulk of the users are from all over Malaysia which are your low-middle income young generation across rural areas and outer cities. Hence Malay is their preferred choice, even in Indonesia. The more affluent demographics were smart enough to move over to Facebook a long time ago as early adopters, but we still represent a minority, even in Internet user base over the whole population.
b) Frienster's page structure (or lack of it) is designed to generate multiple impressions to maximise advertisement revenues. Just look at the message page navigation and flow. Count how many impressions it takes to read from message to message if you have more than 11 messages. This in a way generates the page views they claim contributes to their ranking.
c) The assumption based on increased iPhone users is completely irrelevant, delusional and misleading. The number of iPhone users in Malaysia and Singapore is extremely low. iPhone and Blackberry only has a 4% & 11% market share respectively globally. A marketing gimmick than fact. A highly insignificant proportion to Symbian's domination of over 60% worldwide via Nokia, Sony Ericsson and other devices. The upcoming Symbian Series60 version 5 release, as well as Google's Android platform along with new cheap accompanying phones will quash all hype that iPhone brags even with their Apple Cocoa based platform version 3 release soon.
What would have been more accurate to say is the insurgence of Web Enabled phones into the market capable of accessing social networking services in an always-on web runtime environment would lead to a competitive battle for screen space and users for multiple applications.
This battle would be won by Facebook as their user demographics would be able to afford data services over the more sophisticated mobile smart phones. The majority of the population in the Asian region will still depend on the web to access either Facebook or Friendster base on their social friendship demographics. In most cases, they will have and maintain both accounts.
Friendsters attempt to stage a comeback will only work by adopting a more user friendly approach to cater to low bandwidth internet speed users in this region with better page layout and functionality. A more in depth market research in terms of language preference and option to remain in English is a must. They would also benefit via existing collaborations through other Open Social partners and application developers to recapture their glory days.
Jo :)
Labels: Facebook, Friendster, iPhone, Malaysia, Symbian
Monday, January 22, 2007
Yup yup.. i return to this familiar space called my own. It's been a while indeed. Much has happen, some good, some bad, some current, some interesting and not. Where does one begin after so long. I've had so much to say about 2006 and what's in store for 2007 but then again, i do wonder, who is going to read this anyway?
Maybe it's all for my own record, since there may be an biography written one day and at least this will remain on record.
Let's see.. 2006. It was a crazy year, then again, it always is like that anyway. Love came and love left. Work was constant if not excessive. Finally did the sinus surgery and i can breathe again, so i thought. Long hair to short. Sexiness to Superstardom. Parties and invitations spilt from all corners and my calendar was super full. Yeah, it was fun mixed with a pepper dash of spicy sadness here and there. I'm contemplating and reflecting back and so far, i'm starting to wonder if i'm turning into a depressive maniac or simply bored with what the social and love scene has to offer. Will write more on this later. The travel front brought about many interesting destinations due to work, love and leisure, which i am thankful for and of course looking forward to more this year.
Part of the reason of absence here is attributed to work. Loads of it. Working my day job which consumed the mammoth tasks of clearing a backlog that haunted me until the very end of 2006. All this while battling the sinus and sleep apnea related health problems and balancing a very sticky environment with management about timeliness. Yes, I know i am in the wrong by not following the contractual obligations of reporting in early and leaving the office like other clockwork robots but hey, check the time sheets and you'll find that i was working longer hours than many in the office. Not to mention that our team was in need of additions. Maybe the work wasn't as challenging anymore and i lost my motivation somewhere. I needed a mental intellectual arousal that never came.
What is the point of putting yourself through 45-60 minutes of stressful idiotic Malaysian drivers and traffic jams when the journey is less than 10 minutes at other times? That's 35 minutes of petrol being saved up and not polluting the environment with gas and heat and adding to engine wear. What is the big deal about everyone must be at work at 9am or else! Like the whole business world is going to collapse if you are late, even by a few hours and as if you're not there for the rest of the day to do whatever that needs to be done with me anyways. In this day an age, much thanks to technology, work cultures are changing from the traditional boxed up mentality championed by old militarian style guards to a more liberating and mobile approach. Especially when creativity is needed in challenging the new.
Yes the stress levels were clearly up and that adds to the problems. I wished i could vent out everything here but at the risk of a scandal, i think i better reserve the thoughts to myself. A restraining skill i've begun to acquire and practice of late. I'm still battling a health problem and it wasn't intentional to be tardy. I may still have to go for another round of the surgery. Speaking of which, my dad is also going for a heart related surgery thingy tomorrow. Hope he makes it through.
Few really knew about what i was going through personally, internally, physically, mentally, medically and i don't blame anyone for not asking. I did after all put on my poker face to mask it all. Had to. Everyone has their own set of problems anyways. I can say that i had to be reminded about priorities the hard way. I had to focus on my work despite dealing with a rough blow to the heart simply because, my job and reputation was on the line if i wasn't.
It would have been manageable had we not included the ambitious "Remember Series" events under my private publication initiative. Yes, if a day job wasn't enough, then try juggling a few other outside commitments as well. People expect things and you have a responsibility to commit to delivering. Failure to do so can instantly damage credibility. It was exhaustive but worth the experience as the memories we created for many were priceless. Juice Magazine nominated it as one of The Best Series for 2006 in their recent polls. Sweet. It spawned a whole trend of other bootleg events bringing back the grand sound of yesteryears.
I am dissapointed that the clubbing scene is going through a weird phase as well, so far in 2007. It's almost like a state of confusion and monotony that has everyone in a trance like state to not bother to experience the new and move away from the familiar. Puzzling. More dissapointing is the fact that close friends don't even bother to support once in a while and rather go back to the same weekly thing week in weekend out as if there's no other options.
On matters of the heart, well, it's a long story. I never really said much about it and in a weird way, keeping busy, fasting month prayers and time eventually revealed the questions that i needed answers to and brought me back to heal. Frankly, at current time looking back, as many before me, i was blinded. It's all an illusion filled with manipulative, deceit, betrayal, pretence and insincerity now. I'm not saying out of hurt, but more of what is a lot clearer to me now through investigations and predictability in character observation. I wrote a few songs in that moment of hurt, a long letter questioning and venting out the pain then which never reached the intended recipient. The drowning love songs which i didn't have the time to compile. The restrain and hesitation to run and do what ever it took to win her back. Just like that, it all slipped away and time revealed truth through prayers. I'm actually strangely happy and ok about it. Moved on. There will be others coming along as time also quickly revealed.
Which brings me to a troubling thought that's been harbouring in my sleep and mind the past few weeks and compounded by an article i read in The Sunday Star, the weddings i attended in the last few weeks and talking to my company secretary this afternoon. This has something to do with Men and Women relations of course, and how both sides are now getting more and more demanding of what they want from or expect to have to qualify for and from each other. It's sad really, because the barriers are higher than ever for anything to fruitfully start, the discounting and audit has begun even before the first hello, the time available for discovery is also getting more and more limited due to work and less dependancy. It's turning into fast food love.
Now don't get me wrong, i'm not really talking about my own personal state of affairs but the patterns that i've been observing. Trust me, i am damn good at observing, understanding and setting trends before it happens. That's my job and ability like someone able to explain global warming trends based on key indicative signs. I can say it because weirdly enough, i fall into the statistic and so do others around me. We are getting pickier and more obsessed questioning about, if there even is the actual need for love and consequentially commitments after all. Hmm, much disturbing thoughts i fear on this. Contemplate more on this Joda will. Hehehe. (Sorry, just went through all 6 episodes of Star Wars)
Anyways 2007 is here and a Happy New Year to you all. What's in store? Well i don't really know for sure. There's lots to do definitely. I'm getting that jittery feeling that it's going to be another crazy year. New responsibilities work wise, new partnerships private business wise, new brands to grow, new industries to dive into, new ventures, new hott personal look, new attitude and ambition, new office work wise, new laptop, new challenges, new friends, new relationships, new sound DJ'ing wise and songs produced remixes wise, new destinations, new adventures, yup.. all that lined up already while we're still in January. 2006 was a year that i worked so hard to get through and it sure looks like an interesting year of that again. Bring it on.
I'll be back here.
P.s: For those waiting and craving to eat my Nasi Minyak, let me know in advance and i'll cook it for you. Marriage offers welcomed but as mentioned, i fall into the statistic, i may be picky. Expiry for offers and application, submit by 2009. (I'm just doing what most of you women do, finding the partner is the last part of the wedding and marriage puzzle)
J ;)
Maybe it's all for my own record, since there may be an biography written one day and at least this will remain on record.
Let's see.. 2006. It was a crazy year, then again, it always is like that anyway. Love came and love left. Work was constant if not excessive. Finally did the sinus surgery and i can breathe again, so i thought. Long hair to short. Sexiness to Superstardom. Parties and invitations spilt from all corners and my calendar was super full. Yeah, it was fun mixed with a pepper dash of spicy sadness here and there. I'm contemplating and reflecting back and so far, i'm starting to wonder if i'm turning into a depressive maniac or simply bored with what the social and love scene has to offer. Will write more on this later. The travel front brought about many interesting destinations due to work, love and leisure, which i am thankful for and of course looking forward to more this year.
Part of the reason of absence here is attributed to work. Loads of it. Working my day job which consumed the mammoth tasks of clearing a backlog that haunted me until the very end of 2006. All this while battling the sinus and sleep apnea related health problems and balancing a very sticky environment with management about timeliness. Yes, I know i am in the wrong by not following the contractual obligations of reporting in early and leaving the office like other clockwork robots but hey, check the time sheets and you'll find that i was working longer hours than many in the office. Not to mention that our team was in need of additions. Maybe the work wasn't as challenging anymore and i lost my motivation somewhere. I needed a mental intellectual arousal that never came.
What is the point of putting yourself through 45-60 minutes of stressful idiotic Malaysian drivers and traffic jams when the journey is less than 10 minutes at other times? That's 35 minutes of petrol being saved up and not polluting the environment with gas and heat and adding to engine wear. What is the big deal about everyone must be at work at 9am or else! Like the whole business world is going to collapse if you are late, even by a few hours and as if you're not there for the rest of the day to do whatever that needs to be done with me anyways. In this day an age, much thanks to technology, work cultures are changing from the traditional boxed up mentality championed by old militarian style guards to a more liberating and mobile approach. Especially when creativity is needed in challenging the new.
Yes the stress levels were clearly up and that adds to the problems. I wished i could vent out everything here but at the risk of a scandal, i think i better reserve the thoughts to myself. A restraining skill i've begun to acquire and practice of late. I'm still battling a health problem and it wasn't intentional to be tardy. I may still have to go for another round of the surgery. Speaking of which, my dad is also going for a heart related surgery thingy tomorrow. Hope he makes it through.
Few really knew about what i was going through personally, internally, physically, mentally, medically and i don't blame anyone for not asking. I did after all put on my poker face to mask it all. Had to. Everyone has their own set of problems anyways. I can say that i had to be reminded about priorities the hard way. I had to focus on my work despite dealing with a rough blow to the heart simply because, my job and reputation was on the line if i wasn't.
It would have been manageable had we not included the ambitious "Remember Series" events under my private publication initiative. Yes, if a day job wasn't enough, then try juggling a few other outside commitments as well. People expect things and you have a responsibility to commit to delivering. Failure to do so can instantly damage credibility. It was exhaustive but worth the experience as the memories we created for many were priceless. Juice Magazine nominated it as one of The Best Series for 2006 in their recent polls. Sweet. It spawned a whole trend of other bootleg events bringing back the grand sound of yesteryears.
I am dissapointed that the clubbing scene is going through a weird phase as well, so far in 2007. It's almost like a state of confusion and monotony that has everyone in a trance like state to not bother to experience the new and move away from the familiar. Puzzling. More dissapointing is the fact that close friends don't even bother to support once in a while and rather go back to the same weekly thing week in weekend out as if there's no other options.
On matters of the heart, well, it's a long story. I never really said much about it and in a weird way, keeping busy, fasting month prayers and time eventually revealed the questions that i needed answers to and brought me back to heal. Frankly, at current time looking back, as many before me, i was blinded. It's all an illusion filled with manipulative, deceit, betrayal, pretence and insincerity now. I'm not saying out of hurt, but more of what is a lot clearer to me now through investigations and predictability in character observation. I wrote a few songs in that moment of hurt, a long letter questioning and venting out the pain then which never reached the intended recipient. The drowning love songs which i didn't have the time to compile. The restrain and hesitation to run and do what ever it took to win her back. Just like that, it all slipped away and time revealed truth through prayers. I'm actually strangely happy and ok about it. Moved on. There will be others coming along as time also quickly revealed.
Which brings me to a troubling thought that's been harbouring in my sleep and mind the past few weeks and compounded by an article i read in The Sunday Star, the weddings i attended in the last few weeks and talking to my company secretary this afternoon. This has something to do with Men and Women relations of course, and how both sides are now getting more and more demanding of what they want from or expect to have to qualify for and from each other. It's sad really, because the barriers are higher than ever for anything to fruitfully start, the discounting and audit has begun even before the first hello, the time available for discovery is also getting more and more limited due to work and less dependancy. It's turning into fast food love.
Now don't get me wrong, i'm not really talking about my own personal state of affairs but the patterns that i've been observing. Trust me, i am damn good at observing, understanding and setting trends before it happens. That's my job and ability like someone able to explain global warming trends based on key indicative signs. I can say it because weirdly enough, i fall into the statistic and so do others around me. We are getting pickier and more obsessed questioning about, if there even is the actual need for love and consequentially commitments after all. Hmm, much disturbing thoughts i fear on this. Contemplate more on this Joda will. Hehehe. (Sorry, just went through all 6 episodes of Star Wars)
Anyways 2007 is here and a Happy New Year to you all. What's in store? Well i don't really know for sure. There's lots to do definitely. I'm getting that jittery feeling that it's going to be another crazy year. New responsibilities work wise, new partnerships private business wise, new brands to grow, new industries to dive into, new ventures, new hott personal look, new attitude and ambition, new office work wise, new laptop, new challenges, new friends, new relationships, new sound DJ'ing wise and songs produced remixes wise, new destinations, new adventures, yup.. all that lined up already while we're still in January. 2006 was a year that i worked so hard to get through and it sure looks like an interesting year of that again. Bring it on.
I'll be back here.
P.s: For those waiting and craving to eat my Nasi Minyak, let me know in advance and i'll cook it for you. Marriage offers welcomed but as mentioned, i fall into the statistic, i may be picky. Expiry for offers and application, submit by 2009. (I'm just doing what most of you women do, finding the partner is the last part of the wedding and marriage puzzle)
J ;)
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I originally posted this on 14/7/2004 and stumbled across it while googling my name.. oddly enough it was a reference to my name on my buddy Sharizal's blog.. who coincidentally credited me for this posting.. it seems quite fitting for the moment after my recent experience with a certain someone who i felt was the one who certainly fitted the description of who i wanted to marry.. and still do.. despite the sudden but definitely painful separation.. i haven't really posted anything in a very long time so enjoy this.. again..
-----------------------------------------------
9 Ways of Marrying The Wrong Person
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake: Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust". Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.
4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
-chemistry and compatibility
-share common interests
-share common life goal
Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single -- and then find ! someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
5. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?"
6. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's a big difference between controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
7. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way. To evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with! this person. If you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
8. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
9. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.
-----------------------------------------------
9 Ways of Marrying The Wrong Person
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake: Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust". Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.
4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
-chemistry and compatibility
-share common interests
-share common life goal
Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single -- and then find ! someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
5. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?"
6. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's a big difference between controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
7. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way. To evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with! this person. If you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
8. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
9. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Thursday 20th Oct 2005
Marina leaves behind her college sweetheart and loving husband Areehan (Bowo), two beautiful daughters and her family..
She was 8 weeks pregnant with their 3rd child. She fainted due to low glucose in her body and passed away on the way to the hospital. She was only 29. She was buried the following morning in Seremban.
It is with great sadness to see the heartfelt pain in everyone's faces, eyes and hearts at the hospital as her tiny white cloth wrapped body was carried into the metal casket taken out of the morgue into the van that was destined for her burial. One could almost see the shock on Bowo and everyone's faces as close friends trickled in to say their last goodbyes. Fragile life is. All that is left are happy memories.
Our sincere prayers go out to Marina's family and our dear friend Bowo.. May they have the strength to cope with their sudden loss of an angel, rejoice and realise that she is in a better place now beside Allah, always looking back at us in her sweet smiling ways.
We'll miss you Marina.. :)
Al Fatihah
Marina leaves behind her college sweetheart and loving husband Areehan (Bowo), two beautiful daughters and her family..
She was 8 weeks pregnant with their 3rd child. She fainted due to low glucose in her body and passed away on the way to the hospital. She was only 29. She was buried the following morning in Seremban.
It is with great sadness to see the heartfelt pain in everyone's faces, eyes and hearts at the hospital as her tiny white cloth wrapped body was carried into the metal casket taken out of the morgue into the van that was destined for her burial. One could almost see the shock on Bowo and everyone's faces as close friends trickled in to say their last goodbyes. Fragile life is. All that is left are happy memories.
Our sincere prayers go out to Marina's family and our dear friend Bowo.. May they have the strength to cope with their sudden loss of an angel, rejoice and realise that she is in a better place now beside Allah, always looking back at us in her sweet smiling ways.
We'll miss you Marina.. :)
Al Fatihah
Thursday, July 21, 2005
"It's always nice to find someone who inspires and amazes you from time to time.. makes the life journey worthwhile" - Johan Nasir
It's been some time again that i have regretfully haven't had the chance to tell you my avid and loyal readers about everything i've so wanted to share over the past few months.. yes work, life & play have been keeping me away.. and more recently, love has completely messed up my already ruined to pieces biological clock to the point i'm writing this half consciously.. so forgive my spelling, grammar and punctuations..
On the work front.. well after a few months of uncertainty, it looks like greener pastures are in the forecast at least for the next 2 years with my work at Cradle.. which is all good considering what a great adventurous rewarding experience it is.. only issue now is clearing up the backlog of stuff that has been increasing for the past few months, which is demanding time that i feel is barely enough nowadays.. Then there's now SmoovePinch! My little side project that mysteriously took a life of it's own and grew into a demanding nagging lady.. hahaha.. we've merged with Pinch Magazine and great things are in the pipeline, unless that variable called time has its way of disrupting our timelines and ambitions.. Working overtime juggling the "Things to do today" checklist..
There's also my other responsibilities for my other business entities and social organisations that i have given my commitment to. All screaming away like hungry babies for attention and time!.. shhh.. shhh.. hush..
On the life and play front.. a lot of travelling has been in play, another trip to Kuching for the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Festival, a trip to Penang, there's Fraser's, Miri and Thailand coming up.. With every trip, i will need to have another vacation to just recover from the fatigue and exhaustion of the fun each destination brings.. pictures yet to be downloaded, stories of experiences yet to be shared, travel that again stole time yet again, from work, my gee and connectivity to responsibilities..
On the love front.. well our eyes met across the room overlooking the pool and evening sun on a breezy Saturday wedding.. She's like the wind.. warm enough to make you feel toasty good, freshly intoxicating that she brings you back to the simplicities and innocense of childhood laughter.. cool like the seaside breeze that lifts your spirits up while giving you goosebumps of anticipation for more.. and miraculously filled the gaping hole once existed in my heart..
Yes, at that point, i didn't have any expectations of another lady coming into my life as with the craziness of juggling 9 different ladies at the same time and all the other obligations above.. time was just not a friend to me.. it was threatening to throw a bitch fit (BF) if i was crazy enough to add on to all this multitasking.. a week passed and she came smacking me with an sms that left a smittened kittened smile plastered ear to ear on my face when i was in Kuching the first trip.. as they say.. the rest was love and history..
We haven't been a day apart since i came back from that trip, with the exception on the days both of us had to travel.. so i guess that means.. i have to say sorry to all you ladies chasing me once again.. you gave your best efforts to wine and dine me.. some of your genuinely had sincere growing feelings for me.. which without a doubt i truly appreciate.. but what to do.. she beat you all to it in record time.. really i don't know how that happened.. you all had your chance to keep this great love for yourself and now she's the one smiling endlessly, beaming away and basking in the clouds of happiness in the love we've made.. (hmm.. i wonder, knowing the female behaviour all too well, i'm waiting for the claws and bites to come out, fighting to win me back.. hahaha ;P)
A note to my reason for relapsed caffeine addiction.. we need sleep angel!!.. hehe.. Didn't think you had any reason to make me feel this amazing high whenever i'm around your warmth, never thought i could be capable to have these feelings for someone again, don't know what i've done to be so fortunate to be blessed with your laughter ringing in my ears or waking up feeling you brighten up my days from the moment my eyes see light till we both retire in embrace..
You know what we've truthfully said to each other in our promise to make all this possible.. thank you for your little dosages of affection and more.. (yes i can so imagine you doing that face of yours now.. )
All of a sudden, time doesn't matter any more.. because you've redefined the importance of it..
J:o)
It's been some time again that i have regretfully haven't had the chance to tell you my avid and loyal readers about everything i've so wanted to share over the past few months.. yes work, life & play have been keeping me away.. and more recently, love has completely messed up my already ruined to pieces biological clock to the point i'm writing this half consciously.. so forgive my spelling, grammar and punctuations..
On the work front.. well after a few months of uncertainty, it looks like greener pastures are in the forecast at least for the next 2 years with my work at Cradle.. which is all good considering what a great adventurous rewarding experience it is.. only issue now is clearing up the backlog of stuff that has been increasing for the past few months, which is demanding time that i feel is barely enough nowadays.. Then there's now SmoovePinch! My little side project that mysteriously took a life of it's own and grew into a demanding nagging lady.. hahaha.. we've merged with Pinch Magazine and great things are in the pipeline, unless that variable called time has its way of disrupting our timelines and ambitions.. Working overtime juggling the "Things to do today" checklist..
There's also my other responsibilities for my other business entities and social organisations that i have given my commitment to. All screaming away like hungry babies for attention and time!.. shhh.. shhh.. hush..
On the life and play front.. a lot of travelling has been in play, another trip to Kuching for the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Festival, a trip to Penang, there's Fraser's, Miri and Thailand coming up.. With every trip, i will need to have another vacation to just recover from the fatigue and exhaustion of the fun each destination brings.. pictures yet to be downloaded, stories of experiences yet to be shared, travel that again stole time yet again, from work, my gee and connectivity to responsibilities..
On the love front.. well our eyes met across the room overlooking the pool and evening sun on a breezy Saturday wedding.. She's like the wind.. warm enough to make you feel toasty good, freshly intoxicating that she brings you back to the simplicities and innocense of childhood laughter.. cool like the seaside breeze that lifts your spirits up while giving you goosebumps of anticipation for more.. and miraculously filled the gaping hole once existed in my heart..
Yes, at that point, i didn't have any expectations of another lady coming into my life as with the craziness of juggling 9 different ladies at the same time and all the other obligations above.. time was just not a friend to me.. it was threatening to throw a bitch fit (BF) if i was crazy enough to add on to all this multitasking.. a week passed and she came smacking me with an sms that left a smittened kittened smile plastered ear to ear on my face when i was in Kuching the first trip.. as they say.. the rest was love and history..
We haven't been a day apart since i came back from that trip, with the exception on the days both of us had to travel.. so i guess that means.. i have to say sorry to all you ladies chasing me once again.. you gave your best efforts to wine and dine me.. some of your genuinely had sincere growing feelings for me.. which without a doubt i truly appreciate.. but what to do.. she beat you all to it in record time.. really i don't know how that happened.. you all had your chance to keep this great love for yourself and now she's the one smiling endlessly, beaming away and basking in the clouds of happiness in the love we've made.. (hmm.. i wonder, knowing the female behaviour all too well, i'm waiting for the claws and bites to come out, fighting to win me back.. hahaha ;P)
A note to my reason for relapsed caffeine addiction.. we need sleep angel!!.. hehe.. Didn't think you had any reason to make me feel this amazing high whenever i'm around your warmth, never thought i could be capable to have these feelings for someone again, don't know what i've done to be so fortunate to be blessed with your laughter ringing in my ears or waking up feeling you brighten up my days from the moment my eyes see light till we both retire in embrace..
You know what we've truthfully said to each other in our promise to make all this possible.. thank you for your little dosages of affection and more.. (yes i can so imagine you doing that face of yours now.. )
All of a sudden, time doesn't matter any more.. because you've redefined the importance of it..
J:o)
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I've had a really busy hectic month travelling.. Sabah, Thailand, Singapore, Australia.. and there's so much i want to tell you but i'm just glad to be home for the moment.. there's a lot of feelings going through my heart.. confusing really.. and it's choking me silently..
Angry about my words being taken out of context and used maliciously to slander me and ruining my friendship with a long time good friend..
Anxious about work stuff and new beginnings to a great future..
Confused by all the attention i'm giving or receiving from the women in my life.. while wishing i had the love of just one..
Excited about my trip to Melbourne.. who knows what'll happen there?..
Stressed from all this juggling and multi-tasking..
Tired from my lack of sleep and waiting for you to realise me..
Hungry.. haven't eaten lunch..
Happy from knowing that i'm fortunately blessed with friends, family and those who care..
and there's so much more..
breathe.. all these shall pass..
Angry about my words being taken out of context and used maliciously to slander me and ruining my friendship with a long time good friend..
Anxious about work stuff and new beginnings to a great future..
Confused by all the attention i'm giving or receiving from the women in my life.. while wishing i had the love of just one..
Excited about my trip to Melbourne.. who knows what'll happen there?..
Stressed from all this juggling and multi-tasking..
Tired from my lack of sleep and waiting for you to realise me..
Hungry.. haven't eaten lunch..
Happy from knowing that i'm fortunately blessed with friends, family and those who care..
and there's so much more..
breathe.. all these shall pass..
I have feelings..
I have the ability to have feelings again..
I feel.. thanks to you..
I have the ability to have feelings again..
I feel.. thanks to you..
Friday, May 06, 2005
One for the ladies..
An old friend i haven't heard from for a long time asked me on the phone the other day.. "There is something about you that's different".. and she continued, "it's sexy.. some thing has changed and i don't know what, but it's making me hott"..
I just naturally dismissed it of course.. since i've been getting that quite frequently this year from a number of women that once considered me a "just a friend".. Translation for the guys, "You will never get in my skirt, but i'll keep you around just in case some jerk hurts me".. sorry dudes.. and u know from my previous posting on what i think about that..
But after being stuck in a relatively dumb traffic jam and having to reply suggestive sms messages from other ladies.. i started to ask.. What has changed here? Yes i've lost weight, some women have complimented on the more sleeker sexier clothes and style.. but.. is it the "girl.. really.. i don't give a damn.." attitude that i've had since i've made it known that i have no conscious interest in chasing women this year?
Is it the scandalous rumours flying around about the various gorgeous women i've been seen with around town? So what if they are hott? I've been with much hotter ones past and present.. no big deal there.. Or is there other secret stories of me going around amongst these women that i'm suddenly a great catch? hahaha.. hmm.. thanks for that favour.. ;)
I have to admit, the main reason i've had to exclude the distraction of women was simply because time doesn't permit me with all my personal and external ventures taking off successfully and really, i just didn't want to be bothered with the "being nice" or their "cuddle bitch" crap.. Go find some other shoulder to cry on.. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not being conscious, a jerk, insecure, egoistical and sarcastic.. there's a very fine difference which most people miss, it's just confidence, believe and purposeful with a mission to achieve.. plus, I just purely don't have the time to sort out these women nor have not met any girl worthy a mental, ambitious, sexual challenge to me to warrant my interest.. yes you can try again but really.. honey, u gotta try harder.. and if any of you feel you wanna be more than a "friend with privileges" then yeah, you can make and appointment and reach my PA.. maybe it's this other bad boy side of me..
What ever on earth has caused this sudden heighten sex appeal and these sudden ramblings? Must be the scent i'm wearing..
(yes dear.. you have to come up real close to my neck.. a little closer.. that's it.. good girl.. you are getting turned on now.. admit it..)
J:o)
An old friend i haven't heard from for a long time asked me on the phone the other day.. "There is something about you that's different".. and she continued, "it's sexy.. some thing has changed and i don't know what, but it's making me hott"..
I just naturally dismissed it of course.. since i've been getting that quite frequently this year from a number of women that once considered me a "just a friend".. Translation for the guys, "You will never get in my skirt, but i'll keep you around just in case some jerk hurts me".. sorry dudes.. and u know from my previous posting on what i think about that..
But after being stuck in a relatively dumb traffic jam and having to reply suggestive sms messages from other ladies.. i started to ask.. What has changed here? Yes i've lost weight, some women have complimented on the more sleeker sexier clothes and style.. but.. is it the "girl.. really.. i don't give a damn.." attitude that i've had since i've made it known that i have no conscious interest in chasing women this year?
Is it the scandalous rumours flying around about the various gorgeous women i've been seen with around town? So what if they are hott? I've been with much hotter ones past and present.. no big deal there.. Or is there other secret stories of me going around amongst these women that i'm suddenly a great catch? hahaha.. hmm.. thanks for that favour.. ;)
I have to admit, the main reason i've had to exclude the distraction of women was simply because time doesn't permit me with all my personal and external ventures taking off successfully and really, i just didn't want to be bothered with the "being nice" or their "cuddle bitch" crap.. Go find some other shoulder to cry on.. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not being conscious, a jerk, insecure, egoistical and sarcastic.. there's a very fine difference which most people miss, it's just confidence, believe and purposeful with a mission to achieve.. plus, I just purely don't have the time to sort out these women nor have not met any girl worthy a mental, ambitious, sexual challenge to me to warrant my interest.. yes you can try again but really.. honey, u gotta try harder.. and if any of you feel you wanna be more than a "friend with privileges" then yeah, you can make and appointment and reach my PA.. maybe it's this other bad boy side of me..
What ever on earth has caused this sudden heighten sex appeal and these sudden ramblings? Must be the scent i'm wearing..
(yes dear.. you have to come up real close to my neck.. a little closer.. that's it.. good girl.. you are getting turned on now.. admit it..)
J:o)
